deepundergroundpoetry.com
No three words
I have memories of us still
My soft hands on his rock hard body
Eyes locked
Candles burning
Soft music playing
Control lost to the feeling between my legs
Raspy voice Whispering my name as he peaks
His weight on me after I've released two three times
Falling asleep joined with him
Linked as one
Fit perfect as a glove
Waking up to him biting my jaw
Licking my lips to capture his kiss
I never could get enough of him
His smell , smile
Everything he did was for my pleasure
But I turned him away as soon as he said those three words.
Published 12th Jun 2012
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 8
reading list entries 0
comments 16
reads 1900
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The author encourages honest critique.
12th Jun 2012 5:36am
It's been awhile since your words have spoken so salaciously. (doin' it against cool wet walls) :-p~~~
What 3 words caused you to turn him away? "Fuck Me Again" ; )
Perhaps it was "I Love You"
All jokes aside, I truly enjoyed this and understood it clearly
What 3 words caused you to turn him away? "Fuck Me Again" ; )
Perhaps it was "I Love You"
All jokes aside, I truly enjoyed this and understood it clearly
12th Jun 2012 5:39am
I can always count on you whith my erotica. I feel like I failed it somewhere. The ending maybe. Not sure I might tweak it a bit. Yes I love you . Fuck me again. I'd probably be re married lol
Anonymous
12th Jun 2012 7:50am
GG...this is pretty decent, an easier read than you usually lay down, and the longer I think on it, the more 3-word combos could work. Nice little write, this.
(if you are tweaking it, try;
Linked like a lock
Fitted glove perfect
or something, just to get rid of the repeated 'like')
dp
(if you are tweaking it, try;
Linked like a lock
Fitted glove perfect
or something, just to get rid of the repeated 'like')
dp
12th Jun 2012 7:54am
You know I hate poems that repeat, but I tend to do it. I will definetly try and tweak much more. It is missing something
Thanks for the help hot stuff
Thanks for the help hot stuff
Anonymous
12th Jun 2012 4:59pm
Hi, GiGi. . .an erotic piece, cool! Personally I would have used your last line "I still have our memories" as your opener, then continued with the rest. Don't know if this is a fictional poem or personal but in my honest opinion not very many people like to hear (and what I'm to assume) I love you after sex; I think it kills the mood and puts a damper on the moment kind of like saying something stupid to fk it all up:) Why not just lay there, enjoy the moment, and then continue through the night and save the I love you's for the morning or another day when that person is not caught up. . .just a thought there. Other than that, loved you poem.
12th Jun 2012 5:15pm
I like that idea. I'm going to flip this story soon. It is a true story, I agree he's dumb never tell a broken hearted girl that you love her, especially after mind blowing sex. When he knew that's all it was. But screw it. It is what it is. Thanks devlin
12th Jun 2012 5:27pm
12th Jun 2012 5:39pm
Anonymous
12th Jun 2012 6:07pm
<< post removed >>
12th Jun 2012 6:10pm
12th Jun 2012 6:28pm
Gg too bad he said I loved you after a great fuck..yummy erotica..peace Crim :)
2nd Jul 2012 2:33pm
2nd Jul 2012 2:44pm
Anonymous
- Edited 11th Jun 2018 12:45pm
30th Jul 2012 4:08pm
<< post removed >>
30th Jul 2012 6:29pm
