deepundergroundpoetry.com
All Is Lost (Read By Miss_Sub)!!!
an entrusted endeavor was hers to be cherished;
nourished without blemish, dusk to dawn
infinite nothingness flourished unless perfected
her coveted role was of the highest honor
more desired than being born of royalty
a grace that was given only to the purest soul; then
as she laid eternally peaceful in her solitary
[he] a purely immaculate “god” peaked arousal
an instant adoration of the hell within this entity
blemished now; flawed by his tranquil seduction
blinded by the illumination of his aura
numbed by the trace of his poisoned whisper; she
neglectfully betrayed all existence
endless tornado's of chaos swirled without direction;
pandemonium persisted, uprooted mountainous confusion
the sea devoured all; creation stripped away
only hollowed emptiness remained
she became swallowed by grief
Mother Nature lost her child
© Rachel Orrick 2012
nourished without blemish, dusk to dawn
infinite nothingness flourished unless perfected
her coveted role was of the highest honor
more desired than being born of royalty
a grace that was given only to the purest soul; then
as she laid eternally peaceful in her solitary
[he] a purely immaculate “god” peaked arousal
an instant adoration of the hell within this entity
blemished now; flawed by his tranquil seduction
blinded by the illumination of his aura
numbed by the trace of his poisoned whisper; she
neglectfully betrayed all existence
endless tornado's of chaos swirled without direction;
pandemonium persisted, uprooted mountainous confusion
the sea devoured all; creation stripped away
only hollowed emptiness remained
she became swallowed by grief
Mother Nature lost her child
© Rachel Orrick 2012
Written by
raorrick
(Rachel O.)
Published 31st May 2012
| Edited 28th Jun 2012
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 12
reading list entries 2
comments 20
reads 1156
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Re: All Is Lost
Anonymous
31st May 2012 8:05am
This poem is a really clever metaphor. I thoroughly enjoyed working out all its little gems into a bigger picture. Great job.
0
re: Re: All Is Lost
31st May 2012 10:17pm
Thank you so much, Missy...it means a lot coming from someone of your talent. :)
re: Re: All Is Lost
31st May 2012 10:17pm
Re: All Is Lost
Anonymous
31st May 2012 8:37am
Very nice.
Strider
Strider
0
All Is Lost
31st May 2012 9:08am
This is beautiful with a feeling of sorrow. A well wrought piece and wonderful write. :)
0
re: All Is Lost
31st May 2012 10:18pm
Thank you Magdalena, that means a lot to me that you stopped by, red and liked. :)
Re: All Is Lost
31st May 2012 1:03pm
I agree with Indie, this is a beautifully worked out, well written piece that contains within such a sad story. You are extremely brave to write this out and I thank you for doing so.
Be safe D xx
Be safe D xx
0
re: Re: All Is Lost
31st May 2012 10:19pm
And I thank you for reading and commenting. I truly appreciate your feedback! :)
re: Re: All Is Lost
31st May 2012 10:19pm
Re: All Is Lost (Read By Miss_Sub)!!!
Anonymous
7th Jun 2012 4:13am
<< post removed >>
re: Re: All Is Lost (Read By Miss_Sub)!!!
7th Jun 2012 4:14am
Re: All Is Lost (Read By Miss_Sub)!!!
Rachel.
It's amazing how you have grown so quick in your writing. this poem is nothing short of brilliant.
"an entrusted endeavor was hers to be cherished;
nourished without blemish, dusk to dawn
infinite nothingness flourished unless perfected"
articulation is something you got going on.
great stuff!
The spoken word that Missy Sub has done does a lot to drive home every line in this poem.
It's amazing how you have grown so quick in your writing. this poem is nothing short of brilliant.
"an entrusted endeavor was hers to be cherished;
nourished without blemish, dusk to dawn
infinite nothingness flourished unless perfected"
articulation is something you got going on.
great stuff!
The spoken word that Missy Sub has done does a lot to drive home every line in this poem.
0
re: Re: All Is Lost (Read By Miss_Sub)!!!
7th Jun 2012 6:04pm
"Brilliant" coming from you Eamonn, is like Albert Einstein telling Paris Hilton she is a genius.
I will take the compliment non the less.
I agree, Missy truly understands the tone of this poem and reads it perfectly.
You know I always love when you stop by.
Thank you much. :)
I will take the compliment non the less.
I agree, Missy truly understands the tone of this poem and reads it perfectly.
You know I always love when you stop by.
Thank you much. :)
Re: All Is Lost (Read By Miss_Sub)!!!
7th Jun 2012 6:18pm
this poem is pure magic..my favorite poem of yours so far..read so beautifully by Miss Sub..I'm spell bound by its beauty..peace Crim
0
re: Re: All Is Lost (Read By Miss_Sub)!!!
Thank you so much Crim...I have to say, after her read, it is becoming a fave of mine too.
Re: All Is Lost (Read By Miss_Sub)!!!
18th Aug 2012 1:07am
Wonderful write, Rachel! I really enjoyed it, and I must say that Miss_Sub read it beautifully. She has quite a lovely voice that only added to the overall beauty of this poem.
0
re: Re: All Is Lost (Read By Miss_Sub)!!!
18th Aug 2012 2:06am
Thank you Jessica. I agree, I don't think anyone could have done a better job than she did. I was so honored to find this posted.
Thank you for stopping by, it means a lot.
Thank you for stopping by, it means a lot.