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Echoes
I bleed with you now
I bleed with the lost things
With the memories of a lost boy
Should fate ever reach us
It shall be in the deepest layers of hell
Where we belong
Where you promised we’d meet
After you kissed the air goodbye
With a silent ciao to the daylight
Long nights spent in philosophy
Have now become echoes
Of better times
The best times!
Of our short meaningless lives
Where you showed me the way to myself
And I learnt to laugh in the darkness
© Indie Adams 2012
I bleed with the lost things
With the memories of a lost boy
Should fate ever reach us
It shall be in the deepest layers of hell
Where we belong
Where you promised we’d meet
After you kissed the air goodbye
With a silent ciao to the daylight
Long nights spent in philosophy
Have now become echoes
Of better times
The best times!
Of our short meaningless lives
Where you showed me the way to myself
And I learnt to laugh in the darkness
© Indie Adams 2012
Written by
Indie
(Miss Indie)
Published 16th May 2012
| Edited 17th May 2012
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 9
reading list entries 0
comments 13
reads 1012
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
:)
16th May 2012 11:59am
Miss Indie
A wonderful write this is.
Stark-nihilistic-potent.
The length works here pretty well.
It says just. The last two stanzas
are my favourite.
And post reading it, I love the title
so much more.
Loved this write
Sumeet
p.s-'Ciao' somehow arrested my reading.
Don't know if it was in a good way
or not. Just me.
A wonderful write this is.
Stark-nihilistic-potent.
The length works here pretty well.
It says just. The last two stanzas
are my favourite.
And post reading it, I love the title
so much more.
Loved this write
Sumeet
p.s-'Ciao' somehow arrested my reading.
Don't know if it was in a good way
or not. Just me.
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re: :)
16th May 2012 12:24pm
Thank you Sumeet :)
Stark. Nihilistic. I like it.
This could have been one of my epics but the shortness of it worked really well in the execution of the idea.
As for ciao, I'm going to stick with it for now. Adios was my first choice, but it didn't work with the flow I had in my head.
Indie
Stark. Nihilistic. I like it.
This could have been one of my epics but the shortness of it worked really well in the execution of the idea.
As for ciao, I'm going to stick with it for now. Adios was my first choice, but it didn't work with the flow I had in my head.
Indie
Re: Echoes
16th May 2012 2:10pm
Yours is the first poem I read..honestly for the credits *a sheepish grin*. But the darkness quotient in the verses is quite distinct and the brevity makes it all the more intense.. love it! great going :)
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re: Re: Echoes
16th May 2012 10:16pm
Thank you Nis122, compulsory comments for newbies :) no worries, I remember having to do it lol. Thanks for your comment, much appreciated. Glad you enjoyed.
Bleak
16th May 2012 7:41pm
What a bleak, empty soulless land you portray with your apparently limitless skill and use of imagery. The way that you weave the words, creating one continuous flowing thread is magnificent and a true testament to your talent.
Bravo Miss Indie, bravo.
My thanks, as always, for sharing your work
Love and gratitude D xx
Bravo Miss Indie, bravo.
My thanks, as always, for sharing your work
Love and gratitude D xx
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re: Bleak
16th May 2012 10:17pm
Re: Echoes
17th May 2012 6:09am
Your amazing this is the first poem of yours I read, the amount of time I took to under stand it completely (10min) I had a few ideas but it sounds amazing and I love the way it sounds when I say it out loud... And again YOUR AMAZING!!!
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re: Re: Echoes
Re: Echoes
30th May 2012 2:45pm
A great piece. It made me think, and then, after thinking, i grinned. Love it!
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re: Re: Echoes
30th May 2012 11:01pm
Thank you for stopping by and commenting Gothic Madonna :) glad this piqued your thoughts.
re: Re: Echoes
7th Jun 2012 00:09am