Was tempted to put whipped cream on my oatmeal this morning

Try to eat healthy  
Oatmeal 5 days a week  
No sugar  
Always organic fruit  
Pumpkin seeds  
For my aging prostate  
Unsweetened almond milk  
You know the drill  
 
This morning however  
Was eying the whipped cream  
The low fat stuff with bad chemicals  
The Irish Whiskey in my bar  
Half a pound of fatty bacon  
Undercooked and 3 eggs over easy  
Whole Wheat toast and lots of butter  
 
I know what you're thinking  
He's a rogue  
Rules are for others  
Farts loudly in places of worship  
Thinks TROME is Jesus  
Betty is Mother Teresa  
Jokes on you, had the boring oatmeal