Dating Profile

NAME: Psycho A. Naylis, AKA " Who was that masked man?"  
 
AGE: Older than Moses socks
 
OCCUPATION: Dowser rod salesman moonlighting as Psychiatrist when wearing my narcissistic hat    
 
PROFILE: Blue-eyed nudist, soothsayer, ex-leatherneck, book monger, and coffee shop  
owner, dabbling in prose, and a Christian  

WHAT I WANT IN A WOMAN: must enjoy pickleball and get soused while watching bowling, fishing for slugs, old-time religion with a nonvenomous snake, nudity is optional when shopping at Walmart      
 
WHAT I DON'T WANT IN A WOMAN: a friggin' mother-in-law, BS, Neanderthal, burnt toast, tattoos, mustache, size 11 EEE wide cold feet, crabs, worms or other assorted varmints  
    
INTEREST AND HOBBIES: sarcasm, collecting periwinkle hats, getting stuck in Lodi again, screaming in tongue, following ant caravans  
  
WHAT I WILL BRING TO A RELATIONSHIP: overnight bag, Polident, TV remote, Preparation H, coffee filters, scurvy, my pet Armadillo, toenail fungus
 
FAVORITE BOOKS
Cross Word Puzzles Made Simple
Checkers for Dummies  
Raising a Pet Rock
Me and My Amoeba Ego
Engine Repair for1946 Studebaker
Cheating the Rorschach Test
Poetry for Embecles
Eating my Crayons
Lost in Gotham in My Johnny Gown
Blow Drying the Hair on Your Knuckles
Mollocks Have Feelings Too
DUP Emmy Winners and Losers (Chasing Turnips and Shadows)
Putting a Hat on Brussels Sprout (Chasing Turnips and Shadows - Part  2)
Do Your Clothes Hangers Talk To You? (Chasing Turnips and Shadows - Part 3)
 
FAVORITE ACTOR:
Peewee Herman
Mr.Greenjeans
Homer Simpson
Sylvester Cat  
Yosemite Sam

FAVORITE SONGS
M-I-C-K-E-Y  M-O-U-S-E, Mickey Mouse
Does Your Chewing Gum Stick On The Bedpost Overnight
The Purple People Eater
I Got a Brand New Pair of Roller Skates