Mishka

She wears her sexuality fluid  
shifting    
shattering    
she's the kind of woman  
everyone looks at    
even they can't define why    
her pheromones    
maintaining their own    
gravitational pull    
   
She's the kind of woman    
other people would describe    
as fearless    
which is really just code    
for scared of love    
every relationship tipped    
towards what she can get    
rather than what she can give    
   
It's amazing how her confidence    
demands completely adoration    
that she be revered    
every inch of her beautiful  
in a cruel kind of way    
that's easily bypassed    
when she's wielding the    
lipstick arithmetic    
of a master at work    
   
She was never bisexual    
only bi-curious    
if the situation demanded it    
and I was the perfect neglected wallflower    
a pet project for when she needed someone    
to get day drunk with    
flirt with    
before her boyfriend    
got home from work    
and she'd kiss him so passionately    
I'd blush    
   
I wasn't anything more than sport    
a tortured little piece of nothing    
she used love and attention    
like a carrot on a string    
and I was starving enough    
that I followed her blindly    
knowing she was more fantasy    
than reality    
lonely enough not to care    
   
She was the kind of woman    
I wanted to be like    
I was the kind of woman    
she could control    
my over-easy nature    
a gift she took without even trying    
   
And I think we could have    
kept that strange dom-sub    
friendship forever    
if she hasn't decided    
to leave her knuckles    
imprinted on my face    
and discover    
I wasn't so spineless after all    
   
Last time I saw her    
she smiled wide    
happy    
surprised    
and slipped me her number    
like our history was free    
of her violence    
and my enduring compliance    
and we could pick up  
somewhere in the middle of us    
the part that had been all smiles  
and laughter and secrets    
both of us drunk at 10am  
almost every day of the week  
   
I made sure to conveniently lose    
the slip of paper she gave me    
   
Some people aren't worth reliving