Spin it Black

It was a thing at the time
in tourist towns everywhere
i aligned with it in Gatlinburg, Tennessee
the summer before first grade
 
my cousin Sue Rose
an old girl of 14
is watching me squeeze condiment bottles of paint
onto the fast-spinning little canvas
 
round and round it goes
 
as i squeeze pink and blue and lime green
Sue Rose keeps exclaiming how pretty it is!
for some reason this bothers me
 
I grab the pointy tipped bottle of black
wrap both of my little hands around it
and give a mighty squeeze
 
the spinning canvas is indifferent
to its coating of blotchy darkness
 
Sue Rose is not
 
How could you do that??
 
she's incredulous
mortified
 
It was so pretty!
 
yeah
and now it's not
 
So?
 
that squeeze bottle of black paint
has been in an invisible holster on my hip
my entire life