I Wanna Strangle Someone, Peacefully

A hard core narcotic cocktail
Some Xanax thrown in for good measure
(note, plural)
And…
Voila!
You get to say stupid shit
 
Came through on the other side
However
My outpatient surgery landed me an admission  
 
Nobody seemed to mind my often incoherent ramblings
Nor my nonsensical blissful semi-lucidity
 
The destruction way more than the surgeon anticipated
(even after the MRI and multitudes of x-rays)
The pain is more than I counted on
But I got myself
One hell of a new foot
 
Non-ambulatory for six to eight weeks
I’m gonna have all sorts of folks wiping my ass for me
Small price to pay for making it through  
I learned a long time ago that having modesty in a hospital is for the birds
 
All things considered, I’m very hopeful
Enthusiastic that the pain that I’ve been carrying in that foot for four years
Will be gone soon
And I can get back to living a semi-normal life
For a short while
 
Cuz, lucky me
I get to do this all over again in twelve months  
Then I’ll have two
Brand spanking new feet
 
Two new feet
At the end of two years
Look out, fuck me shoes
Here I come