Makeup sex

 
 
 
We pulled in the driveway of our place,
my left knee vibrates,  
I wring my hands
and hide behind my sunglasses
 
I’m nervous.  
Unsure.
Still pissed off for no reason.
Chaos boils through my pores as you turn off the car and exhale.
 
The engine ticks softly as it cools
and we emulate that:
Cooling after combustion
with no further destination  
 
I’m sick of crying.
I do it badly.
I feel tears leak down my face
and I turn to the window
so you don’t see
 
But you do.
 
And out of fucking nowhere
that song from our mixtape
come on the radio;  
the breakup anthem  
about throwing your shit  
down the stairs,
and we laugh  
at the same time  
 
then the air closes in  
around us like a soul condom,
two seatbelt clicks
and I’m in your lap
straddled against you
sunglasses abandoned  
like missed moments,
as we crash into one another
 
Your face in my hands as  
I find redemption in the
only place that matters
 
I need you.
 
I need you more than
I have needed anything.
 
Our mouths  
whisper need and love words
while we pull off clothing
desperate to feel skin
against skin
 
Desperate to feel
like we’re  
home  
after a fucked up  
journey through a  
wasteland of misery
 
I set the horn off sliding off my shorts
and we laugh again.
 
And, fuck that made me
feral in a new way.

I need you.
Every part of you.
 
You make quick work
of my bra,
and I make that  
throaty little whimper
as my nipples pebble
against the warm expanse of your chest
 
The way you feel just right;
the texture of you
against me
 
You use two fingers to  
punch a hole and then rip off
my favorite lace panties as I  
rub against you
and whisper
 
how much
I missed you
 
Words become wind
as your strong hands
angle my hips and
pull me down on your
hard length so fast I  
cry out into your mouth
 
because
 
You belong here
in me
like this
 
and I’d forgotten  
how it feels to be whole.
 
The car rocks,
the windows steam
and we don’t last long,
your head back
eyes closed,  
thrusting up into my
tight heat and  
and I bite your shoulder
when I come  
baby, yes
to keep the  
neighbors from calling the cops
 
again
 
We pulled into the driveway  
of our place
and I can’t  
seem to stop shaking
as I collapse against you  
and your arms
find their place
around me  
 
And still  
I need you.