deepundergroundpoetry.com
A proposal .... You .. Du love challenge
I was always a riddle
That nobody could understand
Navigating between poets
To see who could please me
Through their subtle words
And there you come
My crazy writer of the sea
You do me good
You are an aphrodisiac, exquisite
You excite me endlessly
You have tamed a wild beauty
And I surrender to your subtle words
I'm never a stalker
But I'm impressed by your poems
Marry me hemi lol
:).
Thanks eamon for the heads up.. :)
Published 23rd Apr 2012
| Edited 24th Apr 2012
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comments 14
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The author encourages honest critique.
24th Apr 2012 2:28am
Thanks for this, I am happy as a pig in shit.
no, joking aside
this is a rather good write Gigi
vexed would imply :
Irritated, distressed, or annoyed and since the tone is much softer I would probably pick a different word, aroused , exited, calmed, something like that.
"You have tamed a beauty" I'd stick wild in there or something that needs taming.
" You have tamed a wild beauty"
good stuff though and if he were about i'm sure he'd be chuffed to bits, and why would he not when a hot blooded Latino is calling him out right?
good stuff , shine on and on !
no, joking aside
this is a rather good write Gigi
vexed would imply :
Irritated, distressed, or annoyed and since the tone is much softer I would probably pick a different word, aroused , exited, calmed, something like that.
"You have tamed a beauty" I'd stick wild in there or something that needs taming.
" You have tamed a wild beauty"
good stuff though and if he were about i'm sure he'd be chuffed to bits, and why would he not when a hot blooded Latino is calling him out right?
good stuff , shine on and on !
24th Apr 2012 2:50am
Thankyou eamon you're right on the vexed . I just went with it. And the wild fits perfect since he tamed a beauty .. I'm sure he's about. In love with another while I pine over Him lol jk .. Ty again green boy
25th Apr 2012 7:56pm
this poem is so sexy and tender..Hemi is a beautiful poet..i'm sure he would love this..peace Crim :)
25th Apr 2012 10:39pm
what man would dare protest? ;) you don't hide behind subtlety; makes it even sweeter. the 'tamed a wild beauty' had me thinking of a wild horse, head down, kneeling a bit for him as well... but my favorite part was the second section. open and irresistible. [:
25th Apr 2012 10:41pm
Awe Ty jesta fish that sounds so pretty.. I love wild horses they have a fierce beautifulness . That part was eammon he suggested the addition of wild . He said no everyone lol kidding..
Anonymous
- Edited 11th Jun 2018 12:45pm
26th Apr 2012 9:50am
<< post removed >>
26th Apr 2012 1:25pm
1st May 2012 5:45am
3rd May 2012 4:13am
This read was so sexy that i got a bit jealous it was me u were talking about.surely luck he loved by u
3rd May 2012 4:50am
Anonymous
- Edited 25th May 2012 3:56am
25th May 2012 3:55am
Where is Hemi? This is beautiful!!!
25th May 2012 4:59am
