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Syl (with original Patois quotations)
Chapter 1
Family and Friends
A short slim man built a shanty in a squatter settlement near the fishing village in Greenwich Farm. He lived there with his girlfriend and his two little daughters. His name was Sylvester, and everybody called him Syl for short. He also had an illegitimate son who lived with his mother in the country. Syl was a street vendor. He had an old wooden stall on a sidewalk downtown, and he sold a variety of items.
Fishing was Syl’s main hobby. He had two close friend Ronny and Arnold who used to go fishing with him. Ronny and Arnold were biological brothers. They often went to sea together on a raft made of Styrofoam. After some time had passed, Arnold built a small fishing boat, and he named it The Challenger.
Syl was a hot-tempered person. Consequently, he often found himself in unfortunate situations. Even though he was small in structure, he was not afraid of anybody. Whenever he met Ronny or Arnold, he usually had a dramatic or hilarious story about his experience to tell him.
Chapter 2
Bicycle Trouble
Part 1
On a windy afternoon in June, Arnold went to the fishing village in Greenwich Farm to fish, and he saw Syl. He was sitting on his bicycle at the edge of the pier. They started a conversation, and while they were talking and laughing, a strong puff of wind blew Syl and the bicycle into the water. He and the bicycle sank to the bottom of sea.
Arnold knew that his friend could swim well, but Syl was taking a longer time to surface than he had expected. When Syl finally swam to the surface, he was out of breath. “A waapm, man?” Arnold asked. “Mi pants fut hitch inna di bicycle chien ahn mi cuddn free miself,” he replied.
“Ow wia goh get out di bicycle outa di sea?” Syl asked. “Noh worry bout dat, mi ave a idea,” Arnold said. Arnold used a strong fishing line with a big fishhook to pull the bicycle from the bottom of the sea. When the bicycle got to the surface, Syl leaned over the edge of the pier and took it out of the water.
Part 2
Syl got a job as a security guard at a theatre in Half Way Tree. He worked on the night shift, and this afforded him the opportunity to sell his merchandise in the daytime. Furthermore, Syl was a poor man from the ghetto, so he used to ride a ten-speed bicycle to work to save money on transportation.
One night Syl was riding his bicycle on Maxfield Avenue at around 9:00 p.m., and when he reached the intersection of Barnes Avenue and Maxfield Avenue, a man walked out into the road and he deliberately collided with the bicycle. The impact made Syl fall from the bicycle. When he got up, the man asked, “Weh mek yuh ride soh bad, shawt man?” Immediately after that, he said, “Yuh fi luk wey yaw goh, man.” Syl was so puzzled; he did not know that the man was a robber. “A yuh waak inna di bicycle wiay fi spite,” he responded.
While they were speaking, another man jumped over a fence and grabbed Syl from behind, and he struggled with him. The man held him tightly while his accomplice rode away with the bicycle. When Syl saw the man stealing his bicycle, he said, “Mi bi ....” He was so frightened; he could not say the complete word.
The robber released him and ran in the opposite direction when his friend turned off the road. Syl ran after the one who stole his bicycle, but he did not catch him. He lost his bicycle to robbers, so he had to walk the rest of the journey to Half Way Tree. A few days later, he bought a second-hand bicycle from a young man.
Part 3
One morning Syl was riding his new bicycle on Marcus Garvey Drive, he held onto the back of a truck with one hand, and the truck pulled him along the road. When he reached a certain point, the bicycle ran into a pothole, and he fell to the ground right in front of a bus stop full of students and working-class people. The commuters all pointed at him and laughed.
Syl had sustained injuries, but he pretended to be okay. He quickly sprang to his feet like an expert in kung fu, brushed himself off, and rode away. One of the excited onlookers said, “Im fit ahn vigarus, duo.” Another person remarked, “Im lucky sey wahn cyar neva a cum up bakka im; im cudda ded.”
When Sil got far enough away from the crowd, he stopped and examined himself to see how badly he was hurt. He had cuts and bruises on his knees, hands, and shoulders, and he was bleeding. So he when straight home and dressed his wounds.
Part 4
Arnold arranged with Syl to go fishing in a small oar boat that was docked at the fishing village in Greenwich Farm. Syl rode his bicycle to the location. He wanted to put it in the boat, but Arnold disagreed. “Yuh nuo sey wi noh ave noh spies inna di buot fi huol di bicycle, soh weh mek yuh ride insted a waak?” he said. “Noh prablem, mi wi hide y inna di bush,” Syl replied. “Y too risky fi leffy desso, smaddi mite tiif y,” Arnold said. Syl went and hid the bicycle in the bush despite having the knowledge that thieves frequented the shore.
The fishermen put their fishing gears in the boat and rowed out to sea. They anchored the boat near the third buoy and began to fish with fishing lines. Approximately half an hour later, Syl looked towards the shore and saw someone in the bush stealing his bicycle. “Luk! Wahn bwoy a tiif mi bicycle!” he shouted. “Wi haffi goh bak a shuor now fi stap im,” he added. “Dat noh mek noh sense; wi nah goh reach deh in time fi ketch im.” Arnold said. “Mia goh swim gah shuor ahn get bak mi bicycle fran im,” Syl said. “If yuh goh, mi wan cyaan ruo di buot goh bak a shuor,” Arnold said. Syl insisted to go, so he dived into the water and swam back to the shore.
The thief had left with the bicycle long before he reached the shore. Syl ran to the main road, and he saw a security guard standing in front of a business place. He approached the security guard and said, “Yuh si wahn man pass ya wid wahn bicycle, sah? Im tiif mi Bicycle ahn mi haffi getty bak.” The security guard replied, “Yes, I saw two guys pass here with a bicycle, but they are probably miles away by now.” Syl said, “Mi neva nuo sey a did two a dem, ongle wan man mi si.” The security guard said, “You won’t catch them because they passed here about 15 minutes ago. Furthermore, those guys come from Majestic Gardens, and if you go there, they will shoot you.”
Syl slowly walked back to the shore. Arnold saw him coming in the distance without his bicycle. He went into the water and swam toward the boat. When he got into the boat, Arnold asked him, “Wa gwaan out deh?” He replied, “Mi noh si noh sign a im.” Arnold said, “Mi did tell yuh sey yuudn reach deh in time fi ketch im, but yuh neva listen.” Arnold and Syl continued fishing until evening came despite the setback.
Chapter 3
The Fights
Part 1
In the early morning, a bus was loading at the terminus downtown. Syl boarded the bus and sat down in an empty seat. He sat by the window and left the other end of the seat vacant. Not many people were on the bus when Syl boarded it, so most of the seats were empty. A ruffian boarded the bus, and he walked past the empty seats and sat down beside Syl.
Other passengers also boarded the bus. While they were going in and selecting seats, the ruffian said to Syl in a low voice, “Git up fram beside mi ahn goh fine wahn nedda seat.” Syl did not respond because he could not believe that the man was talking to him. The ruffian told Syl again in a low voice to get up and move to another seat, but he still did not respond. Things were about to turn nasty. This time the ruffian elbowed Syl and said in a low voice, “Mi sey git up man ahn fine wahn nedda seat.” At that moment, he was certain that the ruffian was talking to him.
Syl got up slowly and asked the ruffian to excuse him. The ruffian thought Syl decided to get up because he was afraid of him, so he moved his feet out of the way and allowed him to pass. Syl turned around and held onto the handrail then he swung on it and landed a forceful kick into the face of the ruffian. The kick caught him by surprise, and it sent him crashing into the window. At that moment, the other passengers saw what was going on. The ruffian quickly rose, brandished a ratchet knife, and swung it at him. Syl retaliated by pulling a knife on him to defend himself, and they escalated the fighting.
The passengers began to shout and scream. “Ducta, tek dem ahfa di bus!” someone said. “A di shawt man staat di fyte,” another person said. The people felt that Syl started the fight because they did not know that the ruffian had provoked and elbowed him. When the driver of the bus realised what was happening, he tried to stop the fight. The ruffian ran out of the bus. Syl ran after him, and they continued fighting outside until the ruffian lost and ran away.
Part 2
A young woman of fair complexion was living in a house beside Syl’s shanty. Both buildings were in the same yard. She had a lovely baby girl who was about seven months old. The woman was slim and attractive, and Syl was lusting after her. She realised his intention towards her, and she told him that things would not work between them. The rejection hurt Syl’s ego, and as a result, he resented the woman. Sadly, the friendliness turned to hostility, and they could not get along with each other anymore.
Every day Syl and the woman would have an argument, and it would escalate into a quarrel. Syl’s girlfriend did not know the cause of the problem until the woman revealed it to her one day. When Syl’s girlfriend approached him about it, he denied everything, and he went and cursed the woman. Furthermore, he threatened to harm her on several occasions.
One evening while Syl was washing some dishes at the outdoor sink, the woman went to the sink to catch water, and she accidentally brushed him. He thought she did it on purpose, so he shoved her, and she lost her balance and almost fell. She retaliated violently, and a fight developed between them. Syl hit the woman on the hand with a stick. He did not know that she had been planning to disfigure him.
The woman quickly ran into her house, and she came out with a bottle containing a liquid substance. Syl had no idea what it was, so he attacked her. The woman threw the substance on him, and when he felt the burning, he realised it was acid. Syl was in agony. “Di wickid gyal dash acid pahn mi,” he said. “Mia goh kill ar,” he added.
The woman immediately ran away leaving her baby in the house. A man who was in the yard called the police, and they took Syl to the hospital. Furthermore, they searched for the woman, but they did not find her. Someone said that the woman was from East Kingston, so she probably went back there.
The police took the baby to a place of safety, and the woman’s mother later went there to claim the child. Syl had not seen the woman since the incident occurred. His face, hands, and other parts of his body were scared for life.
Part 3
At around midday Syl was standing in front of a shop on East Avenue that sells wholesale, and he saw a man who resembled someone that he knew standing close by. He looked at the man a few times to make out his face. The man realised that Syl was looking at him, and he said, “Weh yah luk pahn mi fa, Shawt bwoy?” Syl replied, “Yuh luk like smaddi oo mi nuo frahn somewey.” The stupid man said, “Mi noh wahn noh bombo claat man fi stier pahn mi caw mia noh batty man ahn mi noh love man.”
The man’s response made Syl angry, so he asked, “Soh a call yaw call mi batty man?” Syl went on to say, “Yuh fucking fiesi!” The man responded, “Mi noh wahn noh batty man sey nuttng tu mi.” Syl said, “Y luk like yuh did sleep wid yuh madda laas nite, a dat mek yaw ahgue wid mi.” The man angrily said, “Ay bombo claat bwoy, noh tawk bout mi madda dem wiay deh.” Syl said, “Yeah man, yuh fuck yuh madda laas nite, a soh kom yuh soh bombo claat brite.”
The man cursed and threatened Syl. “A gweyn kill yuh, bombo claat bwoy!” he said. Syl fearlessly replied, “Mi noh frieda yuh, dutty rass claat bwoy!” The heated quarrel quickly turned into a fight. Syl reached for his ratchet knife, the man drew a long knife from the waist of his trousers, and they attacked each other. Both men repeatedly attempted to stab each other, but they were so skilful that none of them was injured in the fight. They fought for a short time. The man could not overpower Syl, so he ran up the road. Syl did not pursue him.
Chapter 4
The Fat Girl
Syl told Arnold about a fat girl who had recently moved into the yard that he lived. He said that she was good-looking and sexy. Furthermore, he liked her, and he wanted to have a fling with her despite living with his girlfriend. Arnold said, “Mi wahn si da gyal deh.” Syl said to him, “Di nex time yuh kom a mi yaad, mia goh shuo yuh di gyal.”
When Arnold met the girl, he felt differently about her appearance because he did not find fat women sexually attractive. He told Syl in privacy that he did not like the girl. “Da gyal deh big ahn fat like sow,” he said. “Ow yuh cudda like ar?” he asked. “Shi a noh sow, man,” Syl responded. “Mi noh nuo weh yuh si inna dat deh hugly black gyal deh,” Arnold remarked.
Syl tried to woo the fat girl many times, but she showed no romantic interest in him. When he was certain that she did not love him, he stopped making advances to her. Furthermore, Syl could not deal with such rejection, so he cursed the fat girl bitterly, and he felt animosity towards her.
Two months had passed before Syl mentioned the fat girl to Arnold again. They were at sea fishing when Syl said, “Arnold, yuh memba di fat gyal oo mi did tell yuh bout?” Arnold replied, “Yes.” Syl said, “Yuh did rite, shi a sow.” Arnold laughed and said, “Oh, soh now yaw call ar sow caw yuh neva get ar.”
Chapter 5
The Court
During the passage of hurricane Gilbert, Syl and a group of men including a Rastafarian and an Indian were looting a warehouse in Greenwich Farm. The owner of the business place was a Chinese man. The Indian carried things out of the wholesale and stood outside. When the other looters were inside the building, the police arrived on the scene and caught them in the act. They told them to lie face down on the wet ground.
Strong winds were blowing, and the rain was falling heavily. The police took the stolen goods from the looters and arrested them, but they kept most of the items for themselves. Minutes after that, a police car drove up towards the men and stopped. The policemen loaded the stolen goods into the car and drove away, and then the arresting officer put the looters in a truck and took them to jail.
The looters had spent two weeks in jail before they were brought to trial. All the looters were present in the court on the day of the hearing. The judge listened to the conflicting statements of the looters and the arresting officer, and then he asked the looters, “Do you expect me to believe that the policeman is lying?” The Rastafarian man replied, “Yes, yur anna, im a lyad.”
After that, the judge asked, “Do any of you have anything to say to the officer?” The Indian replied, “Yes, yur anna.” The judge said, “Go ahead.” Since the Indian knew that he was not in the warehouse when the police arrived there, he asked the policeman, “Yuh did si mi inna di bildin, sah.” The policeman replied, “Yes! I saw you in the warehouse.” The Indian said, “Mi put y tu yuh sey yaw tell lie pahn mi, sah.”
The judge asked the policeman, “Where are the exhibits?” He presented to the court a few items that he and his colleagues had seized from the looters. The defendants knew that the police had tampered with the evidence, so Syl said, “Yur anna, a noh dat nummo dem tak frahn wi, dem tiif di ress a di ting dem.” The judge said, “So you are confessing to the court that you stole more things.” Syl replied, “Yes, yur anna.” The policeman denied the allegation, but the other defendants supported Syl’s arguments.
The judge sensed that something was wrong because the men confessed that they had stolen more items than the ones that the policeman presented to the court. Since the men had been locked up for two weeks, the judge decided to throw out the case and release them. Syl and the other men left the courtroom happily.
The End
Family and Friends
A short slim man built a shanty in a squatter settlement near the fishing village in Greenwich Farm. He lived there with his girlfriend and his two little daughters. His name was Sylvester, and everybody called him Syl for short. He also had an illegitimate son who lived with his mother in the country. Syl was a street vendor. He had an old wooden stall on a sidewalk downtown, and he sold a variety of items.
Fishing was Syl’s main hobby. He had two close friend Ronny and Arnold who used to go fishing with him. Ronny and Arnold were biological brothers. They often went to sea together on a raft made of Styrofoam. After some time had passed, Arnold built a small fishing boat, and he named it The Challenger.
Syl was a hot-tempered person. Consequently, he often found himself in unfortunate situations. Even though he was small in structure, he was not afraid of anybody. Whenever he met Ronny or Arnold, he usually had a dramatic or hilarious story about his experience to tell him.
Chapter 2
Bicycle Trouble
Part 1
On a windy afternoon in June, Arnold went to the fishing village in Greenwich Farm to fish, and he saw Syl. He was sitting on his bicycle at the edge of the pier. They started a conversation, and while they were talking and laughing, a strong puff of wind blew Syl and the bicycle into the water. He and the bicycle sank to the bottom of sea.
Arnold knew that his friend could swim well, but Syl was taking a longer time to surface than he had expected. When Syl finally swam to the surface, he was out of breath. “A waapm, man?” Arnold asked. “Mi pants fut hitch inna di bicycle chien ahn mi cuddn free miself,” he replied.
“Ow wia goh get out di bicycle outa di sea?” Syl asked. “Noh worry bout dat, mi ave a idea,” Arnold said. Arnold used a strong fishing line with a big fishhook to pull the bicycle from the bottom of the sea. When the bicycle got to the surface, Syl leaned over the edge of the pier and took it out of the water.
Part 2
Syl got a job as a security guard at a theatre in Half Way Tree. He worked on the night shift, and this afforded him the opportunity to sell his merchandise in the daytime. Furthermore, Syl was a poor man from the ghetto, so he used to ride a ten-speed bicycle to work to save money on transportation.
One night Syl was riding his bicycle on Maxfield Avenue at around 9:00 p.m., and when he reached the intersection of Barnes Avenue and Maxfield Avenue, a man walked out into the road and he deliberately collided with the bicycle. The impact made Syl fall from the bicycle. When he got up, the man asked, “Weh mek yuh ride soh bad, shawt man?” Immediately after that, he said, “Yuh fi luk wey yaw goh, man.” Syl was so puzzled; he did not know that the man was a robber. “A yuh waak inna di bicycle wiay fi spite,” he responded.
While they were speaking, another man jumped over a fence and grabbed Syl from behind, and he struggled with him. The man held him tightly while his accomplice rode away with the bicycle. When Syl saw the man stealing his bicycle, he said, “Mi bi ....” He was so frightened; he could not say the complete word.
The robber released him and ran in the opposite direction when his friend turned off the road. Syl ran after the one who stole his bicycle, but he did not catch him. He lost his bicycle to robbers, so he had to walk the rest of the journey to Half Way Tree. A few days later, he bought a second-hand bicycle from a young man.
Part 3
One morning Syl was riding his new bicycle on Marcus Garvey Drive, he held onto the back of a truck with one hand, and the truck pulled him along the road. When he reached a certain point, the bicycle ran into a pothole, and he fell to the ground right in front of a bus stop full of students and working-class people. The commuters all pointed at him and laughed.
Syl had sustained injuries, but he pretended to be okay. He quickly sprang to his feet like an expert in kung fu, brushed himself off, and rode away. One of the excited onlookers said, “Im fit ahn vigarus, duo.” Another person remarked, “Im lucky sey wahn cyar neva a cum up bakka im; im cudda ded.”
When Sil got far enough away from the crowd, he stopped and examined himself to see how badly he was hurt. He had cuts and bruises on his knees, hands, and shoulders, and he was bleeding. So he when straight home and dressed his wounds.
Part 4
Arnold arranged with Syl to go fishing in a small oar boat that was docked at the fishing village in Greenwich Farm. Syl rode his bicycle to the location. He wanted to put it in the boat, but Arnold disagreed. “Yuh nuo sey wi noh ave noh spies inna di buot fi huol di bicycle, soh weh mek yuh ride insted a waak?” he said. “Noh prablem, mi wi hide y inna di bush,” Syl replied. “Y too risky fi leffy desso, smaddi mite tiif y,” Arnold said. Syl went and hid the bicycle in the bush despite having the knowledge that thieves frequented the shore.
The fishermen put their fishing gears in the boat and rowed out to sea. They anchored the boat near the third buoy and began to fish with fishing lines. Approximately half an hour later, Syl looked towards the shore and saw someone in the bush stealing his bicycle. “Luk! Wahn bwoy a tiif mi bicycle!” he shouted. “Wi haffi goh bak a shuor now fi stap im,” he added. “Dat noh mek noh sense; wi nah goh reach deh in time fi ketch im.” Arnold said. “Mia goh swim gah shuor ahn get bak mi bicycle fran im,” Syl said. “If yuh goh, mi wan cyaan ruo di buot goh bak a shuor,” Arnold said. Syl insisted to go, so he dived into the water and swam back to the shore.
The thief had left with the bicycle long before he reached the shore. Syl ran to the main road, and he saw a security guard standing in front of a business place. He approached the security guard and said, “Yuh si wahn man pass ya wid wahn bicycle, sah? Im tiif mi Bicycle ahn mi haffi getty bak.” The security guard replied, “Yes, I saw two guys pass here with a bicycle, but they are probably miles away by now.” Syl said, “Mi neva nuo sey a did two a dem, ongle wan man mi si.” The security guard said, “You won’t catch them because they passed here about 15 minutes ago. Furthermore, those guys come from Majestic Gardens, and if you go there, they will shoot you.”
Syl slowly walked back to the shore. Arnold saw him coming in the distance without his bicycle. He went into the water and swam toward the boat. When he got into the boat, Arnold asked him, “Wa gwaan out deh?” He replied, “Mi noh si noh sign a im.” Arnold said, “Mi did tell yuh sey yuudn reach deh in time fi ketch im, but yuh neva listen.” Arnold and Syl continued fishing until evening came despite the setback.
Chapter 3
The Fights
Part 1
In the early morning, a bus was loading at the terminus downtown. Syl boarded the bus and sat down in an empty seat. He sat by the window and left the other end of the seat vacant. Not many people were on the bus when Syl boarded it, so most of the seats were empty. A ruffian boarded the bus, and he walked past the empty seats and sat down beside Syl.
Other passengers also boarded the bus. While they were going in and selecting seats, the ruffian said to Syl in a low voice, “Git up fram beside mi ahn goh fine wahn nedda seat.” Syl did not respond because he could not believe that the man was talking to him. The ruffian told Syl again in a low voice to get up and move to another seat, but he still did not respond. Things were about to turn nasty. This time the ruffian elbowed Syl and said in a low voice, “Mi sey git up man ahn fine wahn nedda seat.” At that moment, he was certain that the ruffian was talking to him.
Syl got up slowly and asked the ruffian to excuse him. The ruffian thought Syl decided to get up because he was afraid of him, so he moved his feet out of the way and allowed him to pass. Syl turned around and held onto the handrail then he swung on it and landed a forceful kick into the face of the ruffian. The kick caught him by surprise, and it sent him crashing into the window. At that moment, the other passengers saw what was going on. The ruffian quickly rose, brandished a ratchet knife, and swung it at him. Syl retaliated by pulling a knife on him to defend himself, and they escalated the fighting.
The passengers began to shout and scream. “Ducta, tek dem ahfa di bus!” someone said. “A di shawt man staat di fyte,” another person said. The people felt that Syl started the fight because they did not know that the ruffian had provoked and elbowed him. When the driver of the bus realised what was happening, he tried to stop the fight. The ruffian ran out of the bus. Syl ran after him, and they continued fighting outside until the ruffian lost and ran away.
Part 2
A young woman of fair complexion was living in a house beside Syl’s shanty. Both buildings were in the same yard. She had a lovely baby girl who was about seven months old. The woman was slim and attractive, and Syl was lusting after her. She realised his intention towards her, and she told him that things would not work between them. The rejection hurt Syl’s ego, and as a result, he resented the woman. Sadly, the friendliness turned to hostility, and they could not get along with each other anymore.
Every day Syl and the woman would have an argument, and it would escalate into a quarrel. Syl’s girlfriend did not know the cause of the problem until the woman revealed it to her one day. When Syl’s girlfriend approached him about it, he denied everything, and he went and cursed the woman. Furthermore, he threatened to harm her on several occasions.
One evening while Syl was washing some dishes at the outdoor sink, the woman went to the sink to catch water, and she accidentally brushed him. He thought she did it on purpose, so he shoved her, and she lost her balance and almost fell. She retaliated violently, and a fight developed between them. Syl hit the woman on the hand with a stick. He did not know that she had been planning to disfigure him.
The woman quickly ran into her house, and she came out with a bottle containing a liquid substance. Syl had no idea what it was, so he attacked her. The woman threw the substance on him, and when he felt the burning, he realised it was acid. Syl was in agony. “Di wickid gyal dash acid pahn mi,” he said. “Mia goh kill ar,” he added.
The woman immediately ran away leaving her baby in the house. A man who was in the yard called the police, and they took Syl to the hospital. Furthermore, they searched for the woman, but they did not find her. Someone said that the woman was from East Kingston, so she probably went back there.
The police took the baby to a place of safety, and the woman’s mother later went there to claim the child. Syl had not seen the woman since the incident occurred. His face, hands, and other parts of his body were scared for life.
Part 3
At around midday Syl was standing in front of a shop on East Avenue that sells wholesale, and he saw a man who resembled someone that he knew standing close by. He looked at the man a few times to make out his face. The man realised that Syl was looking at him, and he said, “Weh yah luk pahn mi fa, Shawt bwoy?” Syl replied, “Yuh luk like smaddi oo mi nuo frahn somewey.” The stupid man said, “Mi noh wahn noh bombo claat man fi stier pahn mi caw mia noh batty man ahn mi noh love man.”
The man’s response made Syl angry, so he asked, “Soh a call yaw call mi batty man?” Syl went on to say, “Yuh fucking fiesi!” The man responded, “Mi noh wahn noh batty man sey nuttng tu mi.” Syl said, “Y luk like yuh did sleep wid yuh madda laas nite, a dat mek yaw ahgue wid mi.” The man angrily said, “Ay bombo claat bwoy, noh tawk bout mi madda dem wiay deh.” Syl said, “Yeah man, yuh fuck yuh madda laas nite, a soh kom yuh soh bombo claat brite.”
The man cursed and threatened Syl. “A gweyn kill yuh, bombo claat bwoy!” he said. Syl fearlessly replied, “Mi noh frieda yuh, dutty rass claat bwoy!” The heated quarrel quickly turned into a fight. Syl reached for his ratchet knife, the man drew a long knife from the waist of his trousers, and they attacked each other. Both men repeatedly attempted to stab each other, but they were so skilful that none of them was injured in the fight. They fought for a short time. The man could not overpower Syl, so he ran up the road. Syl did not pursue him.
Chapter 4
The Fat Girl
Syl told Arnold about a fat girl who had recently moved into the yard that he lived. He said that she was good-looking and sexy. Furthermore, he liked her, and he wanted to have a fling with her despite living with his girlfriend. Arnold said, “Mi wahn si da gyal deh.” Syl said to him, “Di nex time yuh kom a mi yaad, mia goh shuo yuh di gyal.”
When Arnold met the girl, he felt differently about her appearance because he did not find fat women sexually attractive. He told Syl in privacy that he did not like the girl. “Da gyal deh big ahn fat like sow,” he said. “Ow yuh cudda like ar?” he asked. “Shi a noh sow, man,” Syl responded. “Mi noh nuo weh yuh si inna dat deh hugly black gyal deh,” Arnold remarked.
Syl tried to woo the fat girl many times, but she showed no romantic interest in him. When he was certain that she did not love him, he stopped making advances to her. Furthermore, Syl could not deal with such rejection, so he cursed the fat girl bitterly, and he felt animosity towards her.
Two months had passed before Syl mentioned the fat girl to Arnold again. They were at sea fishing when Syl said, “Arnold, yuh memba di fat gyal oo mi did tell yuh bout?” Arnold replied, “Yes.” Syl said, “Yuh did rite, shi a sow.” Arnold laughed and said, “Oh, soh now yaw call ar sow caw yuh neva get ar.”
Chapter 5
The Court
During the passage of hurricane Gilbert, Syl and a group of men including a Rastafarian and an Indian were looting a warehouse in Greenwich Farm. The owner of the business place was a Chinese man. The Indian carried things out of the wholesale and stood outside. When the other looters were inside the building, the police arrived on the scene and caught them in the act. They told them to lie face down on the wet ground.
Strong winds were blowing, and the rain was falling heavily. The police took the stolen goods from the looters and arrested them, but they kept most of the items for themselves. Minutes after that, a police car drove up towards the men and stopped. The policemen loaded the stolen goods into the car and drove away, and then the arresting officer put the looters in a truck and took them to jail.
The looters had spent two weeks in jail before they were brought to trial. All the looters were present in the court on the day of the hearing. The judge listened to the conflicting statements of the looters and the arresting officer, and then he asked the looters, “Do you expect me to believe that the policeman is lying?” The Rastafarian man replied, “Yes, yur anna, im a lyad.”
After that, the judge asked, “Do any of you have anything to say to the officer?” The Indian replied, “Yes, yur anna.” The judge said, “Go ahead.” Since the Indian knew that he was not in the warehouse when the police arrived there, he asked the policeman, “Yuh did si mi inna di bildin, sah.” The policeman replied, “Yes! I saw you in the warehouse.” The Indian said, “Mi put y tu yuh sey yaw tell lie pahn mi, sah.”
The judge asked the policeman, “Where are the exhibits?” He presented to the court a few items that he and his colleagues had seized from the looters. The defendants knew that the police had tampered with the evidence, so Syl said, “Yur anna, a noh dat nummo dem tak frahn wi, dem tiif di ress a di ting dem.” The judge said, “So you are confessing to the court that you stole more things.” Syl replied, “Yes, yur anna.” The policeman denied the allegation, but the other defendants supported Syl’s arguments.
The judge sensed that something was wrong because the men confessed that they had stolen more items than the ones that the policeman presented to the court. Since the men had been locked up for two weeks, the judge decided to throw out the case and release them. Syl and the other men left the courtroom happily.
The End
Published 3rd Oct 2023
| Edited 1st May 2024
Author's Note
For those who can read and understand Jamaican Patois.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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