deepundergroundpoetry.com

if you aren't studying the darkness, are you even awake

please be patient & listen
as I try my best to explain
how some moments are eternal
disappearing in a blink
nothing is ever as it seems
see how the sun slashes
rays piercing tender flesh
raising welts & abrasions
radiant burning across pale shell
sudden blinding flashes
the only glimmers of warning
feather-touching sharp edges of pain
setting off an endless parade of relentless self-hate
my own brand of hell
look at the furrows & trenches
damage done as it marches through my brain
trampling my confidence
savaging my faith
and I fall to my knees
blade at my throat
terrified to rise
struggling to breathe
this is a war on the daily
battle on the inside
where it does the most damage
but can never be seen
shots out of darkness
with no place to hide
assailants formidable & invisible
bombs of shadow ambushing my thoughts
nobody sees what it's like
being constantly on edge
wary to exhaustion
hunted day & night
this mask of courage I wear
is the only armor I possess
covering the many scars I now bear
like tattoos of survival
I carry them with pride
nor can they understand how it feels to be bound
pinned to this wall, permanently stained
splatters of blood from past encounters always remain
completely surrounded by the enemy of Self
I'm entrenched & fear drenched
cowering in my boots
knowing without question
odds are never even
absolutely aware
this is a fight I could lose
realistic �enough to comprehend
just because I have a good day
doesn't mean I'm okay
likewise...when it all goes to shit
doesn't signify the end
it just is

Copyright @ Willow. All rights reserved

Written by WillowsWhimsies

Published 15th Aug 2023

#confessional #dark #honesty #SelfReflection

All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.

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Re. if you aren't studying the darkness, are you even awake

crimsin (Unveiling)

15th Aug 2023 6:52pm

hello beautiful Willow anything I can think to say seems inadequate
I feel a great deal of darkness myself but not to this degree
I'm very sorry you're in so much pain I love you lady ❤️

Read poems by crimsin

WillowsWhimsies

15th Aug 2023 10:58pm

I've been a lot in my head and no voice to express my emotions for so long. Not to worry, Brenda, I'm just processing and making space in my head. I won't let it hold me under too long. Just looking for some breathing room. Thank you for the love 🤗