Suicide

Looking back I see reflections of the past
Images of friends passed
By their own hand
Now they're eternally damned
If only I could have
If only, if only, if only
I could go mad thinking of all the possibilities
What might they have done
All the wonderful possabilities and happy times
We could have shared, the laughter never heard
I miss them so, and the wishes I make will end as dead as them
Each time I say I can't believe you are gone
To another dead friend whose life went all wrong
I tell God it is his responsibility for abandoning his child
But who judges the one who cannot feel love?
Apathetic ambivalence does not aquit infinite shame