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Fearful Notes: Mother & Daughter
Dear Daughter,
Thank you for loving me through my time of treatment. With so much beauty in the world to love, how has a chemical become my destructive obsession? I’ll never understand but know now that I’ll never truly be free of it. It might be a week, month or a year, but I'm certain to fail.
I can’t live with defeat hovering in my future. I can’t know that I will put you through my failure again. I’m living each day now as if it were my last.
I love you. I want to watch more of your life but don’t know how long I can stay. Sometimes the emptiness calls so loud that I think I’m capable of answering.
Dear Mother,
I read your note and cried, not sure what you were saying.
This world needs you. I need you. Even if you fall back into addiction, I need you to be here, and we’ll get through it.
Please don't answer the dark voices of emptiness. Stay for me. Stay for the love that the world still wants to give you.
Thank you for loving me through my time of treatment. With so much beauty in the world to love, how has a chemical become my destructive obsession? I’ll never understand but know now that I’ll never truly be free of it. It might be a week, month or a year, but I'm certain to fail.
I can’t live with defeat hovering in my future. I can’t know that I will put you through my failure again. I’m living each day now as if it were my last.
I love you. I want to watch more of your life but don’t know how long I can stay. Sometimes the emptiness calls so loud that I think I’m capable of answering.
Dear Mother,
I read your note and cried, not sure what you were saying.
This world needs you. I need you. Even if you fall back into addiction, I need you to be here, and we’ll get through it.
Please don't answer the dark voices of emptiness. Stay for me. Stay for the love that the world still wants to give you.
Published 2nd Mar 2023
Author's Note
Mother has completed treatment but struggles with doubt. She asked that I share this exchange between us.The photo is our Christmas card from happier times.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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3rd Mar 2023 1:10am
You tell your mother to keep fighting for the good new memories you guys create together. Keep on writing.
