Tired

I'm tired of writing about breaking up
I'm tired and worn of breaking up
I'm tired of feeling as if I'm the one corrupt
I'm tired of feeling like I'm the only one giving a fuck

I've cried and worried, but still a clown feigning to laugh
How is it that you're the only one with sunshine in the aftermath
My heart fucking clenching in a grip everytime that I think of you
Fucking digging through your lies only to find that they are true

I was accustom to bearing the burden, sharing and accepting the blame
Snapping to attention or oozing from every pore, everytime I heard your name
You watched me like a hawk with the dedication of a sentinel
Affection was supposedly there, but love wouldn't tell

But you gave me a place, a place so deep within your heart
A places that only plays pain and the record must always restart
The beautiful conversations that had to end so that an argument could start
The continuous mining of each other's minds, only somehow you forgot

My heart was pause and then finally stopped
After so much abuse it was use to you using a crop
But you were determined that I was your whipping boy
And like a bored cat you kept returning to this chewed up toy

But the little head is loosing, the big one is starting to think
It's realizing we sold our soul for lying words and a little bit of pink
The abuse is no longer attractive, in fact it's starting to repel
With this fucking break up I think that I've served my time in hell