deepundergroundpoetry.com
Mobile Phones
Teenagers need mobile phones so that
they can call and ask for a ride,
then tell you that they're walking.
Scrap that. Friend's taking them.
"Oh no, that fell through!
Please come get me!
Where are you?
You're late.
MUM!"
And
also,
mobiles are
in constant use,
attached to their ears
(surgically? Almost!)
chatting with their friends all day
but when I want to contact them,
no joy... They're incommunicado!!
they can call and ask for a ride,
then tell you that they're walking.
Scrap that. Friend's taking them.
"Oh no, that fell through!
Please come get me!
Where are you?
You're late.
MUM!"
And
also,
mobiles are
in constant use,
attached to their ears
(surgically? Almost!)
chatting with their friends all day
but when I want to contact them,
no joy... They're incommunicado!!
Published 28th Jul 2022
Author's Note
Butterfly nonet
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 11
reading list entries 3
comments 15
reads 428
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
28th Jul 2022 11:25pm
28th Jul 2022 11:35pm
Anonymous
- Edited 22nd Oct 2023 4:45pm
28th Jul 2022 11:42pm
<< post removed >>
28th Jul 2022 11:46pm
Thank you!!
I have two girls, and my 14 year old is the worst offender. She might as well have it surgically attached to her ear, yaks to her friends all day, every day... but if I need to get hold of her (one of the reasons she HAS a phone), she ignores me! She also does the "nvm I'm walking" followed swiftly by "can you pick me up now?" on a regular basis! My 16 year old is all? "Have you left yet? Where are you? Are you nearly here? Don't be late!", which is equally annoying!
I have two girls, and my 14 year old is the worst offender. She might as well have it surgically attached to her ear, yaks to her friends all day, every day... but if I need to get hold of her (one of the reasons she HAS a phone), she ignores me! She also does the "nvm I'm walking" followed swiftly by "can you pick me up now?" on a regular basis! My 16 year old is all? "Have you left yet? Where are you? Are you nearly here? Don't be late!", which is equally annoying!
29th Jul 2022 2:15am
An interesting and uniquely challenging format,
within which, you captured the subject in such a picture perfect fashion...
Very cool Ellie...
within which, you captured the subject in such a picture perfect fashion...
Very cool Ellie...
29th Jul 2022 4:15am
29th Jul 2022 2:53am
The sickness of the times. Young people and older persons. On the street, on the bus, in the métro..........rare is the person who does not have his or her eyes stuck on a screen.
29th Jul 2022 4:11am
This looks like a challenging form... well done!
And OMG I totally relate to the frustration... same here. Why the heck do we give them the damn things??
k
And OMG I totally relate to the frustration... same here. Why the heck do we give them the damn things??
k
29th Jul 2022 4:34am
Hi Ellie,
I get this to my core. Both my boys have cell phones and when they don't answer it drives me
crazy. Especially when they reply in a text. Uh - no, I need to hear your voice!!! Call me back!!
Also loved the form you used with this.
I get this to my core. Both my boys have cell phones and when they don't answer it drives me
crazy. Especially when they reply in a text. Uh - no, I need to hear your voice!!! Call me back!!
Also loved the form you used with this.
29th Jul 2022 4:36am
Anonymous
29th Jul 2022 6:30am
I like how this poem moves as a series of too-connected revisions of plans, echoing Eliot's "Prufrock."
The idea goes, for me, beyond the nonet form.
The 1st half could be continued---how long?--digging deep into this contemporary phenomenon of a sort of suspended state of "making plans," where people are communicating their plans to meet, and compulsively revising these plans, until they do, in fact, meet, but never by following any plan...
Enjoyed!
LIKED for the potential latent here.
The idea goes, for me, beyond the nonet form.
The 1st half could be continued---how long?--digging deep into this contemporary phenomenon of a sort of suspended state of "making plans," where people are communicating their plans to meet, and compulsively revising these plans, until they do, in fact, meet, but never by following any plan...
Enjoyed!
LIKED for the potential latent here.
29th Jul 2022 1:54pm
Absolutely... and having the technology actually feeds into the older one's anxiety. When I was a child, if my mum turned up late, then she was just late and I had to lump it. Now, my daughter will start calling and texting before I'm due, in a panic about me being late. I'd be later if I kept stopping to talk to her!
29th Jul 2022 9:55pm
Another example of modern poetry. Regarding the text, ain't that the truth, lol? Plans can change multiple times a day!
29th Jul 2022 9:56pm
4th Aug 2022 6:05am
