conflicted

 
I have nowhere else to place my eyes
I stare at you while you stare at someone else
I don't play games
so you won't find me gazing at another to hurt you

I hope in time I will forget my longing
I was never quite right anyway
you were neve quite right for me no one is
but I dream when you look my way

my tears taste like traitors
it hurts to love you
in all these years I never wanted another
I hope you know that

I wanted you in my honesty
my lies were reserved for the world
they would never see me

I ache so deeply and I am angry at the hurt
my lusts betray me
and my low self esteem turns you away
I don't have the confidence to walk your way in steady steps

I'm in love with you

I hate myself for admitting that
and my need is more than I can bear
quietly I will die to my desire
I have to find the will to forget you
I have before I will again

please if it is in your mind to turn me away
don't reach for me