confessions

 
an expert in evading feeling
I twirl my emotions inside me then block them out
it's a gift really forgetting
but there is a great fear in me
of losing my beloved

I wonder when I let him in?

I mean, I didn't intend to
my plan was to fill my loneliness
when did I become so needful
needing his love, needing his affections

I'm usually cold on the outside
this admission would surprise him
I don't let my emotions show
that would be a weakness
most you'll get from me
is a flicker in the eyes

I hold it all in then blow
admittedly my rage comes out from time to time
I hate this weakness too

I'm calculating my odds
I'm losing my battle
to show you my love
I have no choice

will you love me forever?
or am I just time your wasting
waiting for something better