Six Olives

hello dearest Styxian this is beautiful
you know I can love people
but a epiphany about myself
I can never connect during sex
I have never been able to
and intimacy is the same
I think I am broken...

a poem like this frightens that part of me
but I see you open heart as beautiful ❤️

My dear, you are far from broken.  You're one good hug away from normal.  

Your reply sums up pretty well why people drink on dates, and so forth.   To relax a bit and step away from their fears and inhibitions.   Just some don't taper off when they should.  

Especially in today's world, it seems easier for people to just have sex, than it is to truly kiss someone with a strong desire to be that close to their eyes and thoughts.  

This poem frightens you just like most people are frightened to be vulnerable.  It's normal.  

Trust me, the secret is an easy humor.  I am notoriously self-depreciating.  I knock myself, if they agree too much , then that's my clue that I'm getting shot down.  Lol.  

Once in awhile you have to go all in.   If they turn out to be douches, it only means they are douches and you are still incredible.   They are less and you are more.  And you move on.  

You are not broken.  Broken people burn shit and run over flowers and stuff.  Lol.
You love to write.  That means that your brain has wings.  
Sometimes though, you have to open your actual wings too.  Be a falcon.

thank you dearest Styxian for taking the time to be so kind to me...you are a beautiful soul 💕

Don't tell anyone about my soul!   It looks bad in the biker community.  Lol.  

Hey there, Dear friend  

There's something so intimate here... a sincerely beautiful comfort having someone care for you in the way you've so gorgeously described....When even at your lowest low or perhaps when you've taken things a bit too far because of life's pressures, you're ultimately met with this calm understanding and remarkable compassion that helps heal as opposed to an 'I told you so".... I felt like both roles are places in life we've all possibly been before, but maybe not with such a 'poetic' of an outcome.  

Imo, one of THE bedrock keys to a healthy, strong relationship is how each one of you can support one another in the darkest of hours. I simply thought this piece was chock-full of more deep heart-felt romanticism than any standard sensual piece could ever muster....

Your continued artistry of capturing the complexities of humanity and how you're able to beautify the inner workings of bonded relationships is so enchanting and unlike most reading experiences I come across— It's that uniquely Styxian poetic style that has me totally hooked and always... always returning to read more...

Thank you for really adding so much thought and emotional impact to my day....
(I missed stopping by your page!)

Much love and my deepest warm regards,
🌹-💙
x
-S

Well goodness.  I feel like I need to put on cleaner clothes for this reply.  I'm not worthy as is.

When I split from my marriage last year, it was hugely enlightening.  I waited too long (so several friends told me, including a couple of her friends).  
Fixing up my new little place and meanwhile fixing the dents in me, have paid off.  

We never realise how much of ourselves we sacrifice when with an overly needy partner, until we step away.  Just for them to say you're not the person they fell in love with anymore.   Well duh, I've tried to fit the mold you wanted!  

   Sorry, I'm off topic.  Lol.  

Thank you, Blue.  I've been doing a great deal of rediscovery.  Including through what I choose to write about.  
Your reply is above and beyond.  I will step up and earn the most of it.  

Nice seeing you, again.  

you do something to the world in your writing, where it's so intimate, so honest. as if people are conscious and feeling their lives instead of coasting obliviously. it's beautiful, for lack of a more creative adjective. thanks for sharing this

Very few words can stand beside the word "beautiful" .  Not many other words encompass so much as it does.   Therefore I am very thankful for your description.  And there is no lack of.  I appreciate completely what you had to say.  

"You do something to the world"....  
Wow.  You have no idea how huge that comment is.   Where I've been, where I'm at, and where I want to be, is what life is about right now.   I'm making a great effort in "fixing things" in the personal world around me.   Friends, family, neighbors, all of it.
It's fixing me, in turn.  
I was dumb too long. But not too late.

Thank you for the generous comment.  It made me sigh, in a good way.  

Hey Styx,

So six olives. Dude - it would take me 3. LOL
And it would be pineapple chunks from my Pina Colada. LOL
Ughhh.  This write reminds me of some of the times I have gotten toasted!!!
I've slurred because - well - my face got numb.
Totally normal right? And stumbled a little because - well - I shouldn't have worn stilettoes.
And well - we need the aspirin in all honestly - I mean the bed is spinning like
a tilt a world at the fair. Totally normal stuff. hahahah
I've never in my life been the crying drunk or the angry drunk.
Always the fun girl who will make you laugh
and maybe break dance. hahahah   (long story)

In all seriousness this is awesome!!!
I was sipping each word like whiskey:)
You have such a power with metaphors and intimacy.
Loved the closing of this. Just make me smile.

Personally I don't like olives.  They're like big peas for big people drinks.  Lol.  But to each their own, right!   I like women who order drinks with olives.  Because I want the little black sword the olive is stabbed with.   Like the sword in my avatar.  Because I'm a dork forever.  
    I very rarely ever drink too much.  I know my signs.  But,  I am a funnier dude when I'm out drinking. I'm the guy that friends text to see if I'm going out.  
But I've tapered way back!   I'm mostly boring now.  Lol.  Bar life ages you un-gracefully.

I'm much more into the intimate atmosphere nowadays.  It's more focused.   Drinking is fine in moderation.  

As for my write, whiskey it is! (For me)  .   I have my calm, intimate moments.  And write things like this.   It's the better version of me.

I love your little descriptive reply!   Awesome!

This is the kind of writing I wish I could do ....
There's so much honesty and pathos all rolled into one gumbo of human relations.  Damn that's a mouthful

We are lucky to have you Styx

BIG LIKE

^^^^says the guy that paints like I wish I could!  

You write in your unique style that is incredible.  Two of my style would get boring really fast.  Whereas one of you and one of me fills far more literary appeal.  I read plenty of "my style".  I want to read all of the mix of styles in here.   That's how we grow.  From absorbing the uniqueness of the mix.  I won't get better staring at my own stuff day after day.  I will get better by you and the rest showing me new horizons of thinking in writing.  
   I'm here to take it all in, and give a little.  It's a huge sense of profit to me.  

 Thank you, by the way.

And stop showing all your awesome painting skills.  You're just rubbing it in.  Lol.

Amazing!  I love your descriptions, I love how you guided me through this moment.  Your ending was boom!  The idea you set up earlier in the poem about the hourglass and then how you ended it was beautiful.

LJ

LJ,  when I got to the end of writing this piece, after having no idea how it would end as i wrote, I came up with the ending and in my head I said "boom".   That is the truth.
 And here you are repeating it.  Like minds think alike.  

I appreciate your reply immensely.   Thank you!

Others have articulated way better than I could express, but this moved me to those heart-stretching & mind-expanding chasms poetry can make me fall. It kind of shattered the peace of my hour. And that's a good thing. Rob

I'm pretty sure that you just articulated quite well sir.   Actually, indeed you did.  

So thank you for that.  

The hour glass. My mind savored this metaphor, the deep underbelly of this poem was everything for me as the reader. What woman doesn’t dream of someone to care for their words when they are careless, their truest form. You express, exquisitely, the shape of your heart and ability’s for empathy and understanding in your art. And what was she going to say, before eating the olives? The suspense gives me chills

Good morning Rain.  (That sounds nice! )

Ah, the suspense I know so well.  Alcohol is a people opener.  My years as a bartender and as a bar-goer have given me a wealth of experience.  They say alcohol only magnifies whatever predominant emotions are in you at that time.  And it's mostly true.   You ultimately get what you subconsciously seek, good or bad.
    Thank you kindly for your awesome reply.  I sincerely appreciate it.

I loved this. I loved the language and the imagery, and the feeling, and there are so many good things. You're asking for friendly feedback, and I hope you consider this next part friendly:

Those green trophies
from competing against the drinking
Then eating your victories

Right above this part, you mentioned eating the olives, and, I just want to make a suggestion that using another form of "eating" might be nice here... savoring, etc.  And it seems like the capped T is out of place, with "then" being a continuation of the sentence.

Just wee little things, if you're open to suggestions. Otherwise, totally ignore that bit, and know that I think this is a lovely poem as it is. Very much enjoyed the read. :-)

Actually, using the word "eating" too close in succession stuck out horribly to me as well.  And you caught it too. I dwelled on it after posting it. But moved on. And here it is hitting me upside the head now.  

I never mind constructive criticism.  That's part of learning, of being here amongst our peers, etc.  When someone mentions an idea of betterment, that means that they actually do care and that our attempts are noticed.  Why would anyone ever be offended by such help. Certainly not me.
I thank you, sincerely.  

One never knows when someone might not take kindly to any suggestions of change, so I tread lightly when commenting on someone not familiar to me, if it's marked friendly feedback. I'll remember in future that you welcome friendly critique and suggestions.  :-)

I must admit I don't like olives but I like you.
And there is not time to waste on sober discussions.
You will be blackout drunk on me...
And you will wonder what have you done.
My body will say what you have to done me.  
So thoroughly... disrupting my soul.
Compressing, triple virgin olive oil...
Not that cheap stuff you get at the store.
But something straight from the tree.
Something that redefines the taste...
But you need omega 9, take it.

Good Lord KX !!!!   Too late for the omega 9, because I just had a heart attack reading this comment!  
Why would I want to be blackout drunk?!   I'd want to remember every single thing.  So I could write about it.  ;-)
I've been blackout drunk twice before, damn vodka.  I was told how comically cute I was, the next day.  I don't touch vodka, ever since.  Because I don't want to be cute!  I wanna be a damn dragon!  Lol.  And I don't like not knowing wtf happened.

In all seriousness, it's been a very rough week.  Thank you for this incredible boost!  I'm actually a bit stunned by it!

I have only been blackout drunk once and prior to that I was certain it was impossible. I suppose I needed to prove it to myself. lol Funny enough, it was a drinking game and I was drinking straight vodka on an empty stomach while everyone else was doing beer. (which at the time I did not like). And I was told that I was all over the guys. Like make a porno level horny, wait that's always... you know what I mean. Fortunately my friend kept anything bad from happening to me. Lesson learned, I will never get that drunk again.

I am really sorry to hear it's been a rough week for you. But I am glad I could give you a dose of Omega 9 to keep your heart pumping strong. I want you strong damnit. :p