The choice

Once upon a time, my child asked me:
if you could get rid of your chronic pain condition
or your mental illness, which would you pick?
I was taken aback;
it's not a choice anybody gets to make.
After very much thought,
I told her neither;
for both have made me
the person I am today,
taught me resilience,
determination, and flexibility—
as in, different ways of doing things,
and not the kind of flexibility
that comes from having EDS!

Much later on, I've changed my mind;
decided that one adds nothing,
aside from dislocations
and being a pain in the neck,
and jaw, and elbows, and ankles, and...
I'm tired of being adaptable
and weary of explaining
the things that I can't do.
My brain, on the other hand,
tortures me at times,
but shows me things that others don't see,
feeds my creativity
and help me understand my child.
We're not perfect, but we're special.
That's what I choose to believe.