little deaths

 
denial in stages
and hurt in degrees
tortured down deep

you know you get used to it...the pain?

a thousand nicks scream
and all you feel is a dull ache
you can't pinpoint it anymore it just is

my hurt turns into anger
manifesting from time to time
showing its face among the others
my personalities ache while I unplug
I am indifferent, I am strong

sometimes tears will leak from my eyes
and I don't know the cause
you die so many times in a lifetime
its the first cut that hurts

hopeful altruism turns into jaded mistrust
I scream inside where no one can hear
I muffle the voices that rise within
biting my tongue

the words battle to be heard
I silence them knowing it won't do any good
rehashing past insults
just adds salt to the wounds

I'll die with a smile
knowing I won