i need some time away from myself

suffering in silence and lost in dreams
fantasy comes with a price it seems
the reality of my life is a delusion, i see
for love is a myth we all believe
its truth comes from stories that we leave
but not once has it ever come to me
and yet
still
i grieve

my wondrous joy and naive freedom
is trampled by the lifeless droll and a heartless kingdom
sitting in silence while the deaf still hum
drifting in solitude as life marches on

what use is it to yearn when all goes unsaid?
but what purpose does it serve to reveal my dread?

the depths of my feelings border on obsession
i’ve been alone so long, maybe this is a lesson
though only an ounce of tenderness can make me fall
id honestly rather feel nothing at all

toxic, poisonous, miasma from thoughts
caught in my mind
lost in the grime
the muck of my brain
the swampy layers of pain
oh what i wouldn’t give for a moment of silence
for some peace from this violence
just a second of nothing
a wink of respite
oh please
just one minute
im desperate