deepundergroundpoetry.com
Some dark side and well-hidden truths
A sprawling estate
Manicured lawn
Enormous Mansion
Exclusively designed
And built
By Five Stars concerns
(Also intimate friends).
A sunny day
Fluffy, cottony white clouds.
Inside, not so splendid
As the naked lady
Was sprawled on her back
On the shaggy white rug
Blood all around her head
(Gun shot, likely)
And a man, quite dead,
Hanging from a cross-beam.
Welcome to Paradise.
Manicured lawn
Enormous Mansion
Exclusively designed
And built
By Five Stars concerns
(Also intimate friends).
A sunny day
Fluffy, cottony white clouds.
Inside, not so splendid
As the naked lady
Was sprawled on her back
On the shaggy white rug
Blood all around her head
(Gun shot, likely)
And a man, quite dead,
Hanging from a cross-beam.
Welcome to Paradise.
Published 23rd Sep 2021
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 3
reading list entries 0
comments 8
reads 249
Commenting Preference:
The author is looking for friendly feedback.
23rd Sep 2021 10:32pm
The dichotomy of the descriptive imagery is stark, indeed.... Like a true crime episode!
Greats last line.... 👍🏻
🌹 - B
Greats last line.... 👍🏻
🌹 - B
23rd Sep 2021 10:34pm
24th Sep 2021 00:14am
hi Robert you have the start of a really good crime drama
I like to see what led up to the events or what transpired after
I've never been so ambitious with stories as the dialog stumps me...
great write...
I like to see what led up to the events or what transpired after
I've never been so ambitious with stories as the dialog stumps me...
great write...
24th Sep 2021 00:22am
Hello dear and how are you? I must say I have the same problem with dialogs. I have written a number of short stories many years ago and published in fan zines....but that is the limit of my talent. My brain goes kind on crazy-lazy overdrive when I try to go beyond the poem limit.... Kisses, Robert.
24th Sep 2021 00:29am
I've written dialog back and forth in my short story like poems but it's touch to be sure...
27th Sep 2021 00:02am
Definitely some vivid imagery. The description of the beautiful surroundings combined with the murder scene is a great contrast. Last line rounds things off perfectly. Great write...
27th Sep 2021 00:05am
18th Oct 2021 7:36pm
I liked the picture perfect scene you painted on the outside while on the inside it's dark and gloomy. Sounds like the start of a very interesting novel.
Well done robert.
Well done robert.
