Till we meet again

Your desires worked as my night clothes      
No light is bright enough to hide your shadows      
I can never feel warm because you always stand close      
      
You used me the same way as those who boiled your blood      
My first was a demon, I bet you thought      
But you're just like him in the eyes of a God      
     
Your power is slipping and dropping to your feet      
Look it's like you, lacking a heartbeat      
It didn't take long to notice your defeat      
     
You're a martyr who always gets mistreat      
Keep saying everyone only feasts your meat      
You only do good because your heart has nothing else to eat      
     
Hell might be close but I'm even closer      
You don't beat those who deserve it, seems like you're a poser      
You always said you wanted to go back to your land, go then      
     
You had your fun on the expense of me      
Carry a knife cause that's the only thing there is for you to hold against me      
Who would've guessed the one seeking revenge is me      
     
This is my last resort      
I'm fixing what is distort      
All efforts to be good have cut short      
     
It was simple being your doll      
I got presents that can't be sold      
Gifts that I wrap so they wouldn't be so cold      
     
You ruined so many places, faces
Our spots still has your traces
You bring memories, I can't wait to waste them
 
I'm standing where you so often stood      
Exhausted of strangers looking like you      
My mind needs to know you're gone, it just needs some proof      
     
Some days I'm stuck being that little kid      
If you only knew what you truly did      
You won the biggest prize with the smallest bid
 
I see a man and I already fear him      
This is my reality but you never have to hear it
I've hidden my truth I'm about to start scream it
 
How many times my nerves have send shocks to my skin      
How many times my blood has runned to freeze my body still      
How many times I've felt that I need to get my grave filled      
     
I can never be fully honest      
Because no one would believe a thing I've promised      
They wouldn't understand moving on is the hardest      
     
I have to teach my sister that life doesn't break you, I'm still here      
But one day she has to know that I pretended, I'm half dead from fear      
How I wish I could've proven how much I tried for you, sissy dear      
     
I keep searching for that thing      
That will finally let me in      
In my past that makes me ill      
     
I've spend more words on my demons than my man      
You made me rip your scars while he kisses my hand      
You prohibited my movements while he joins my dance      
     
Your effect on me was a hard lesson to learn      
You are my world, that I only want to burn      
I believed life was done torturing but it was only your turn      
     
I only avoid words but not you      
You tried to run from me but I caught you      
You taught me loyalty but no one taught you
     
Anything after how low you went looks like an improvement      
Anything good in your hands falls right through them      
Even if I messed up my next life, I smile, 'cause you screw ten      
     
Silently you're the one who truly gets my dedication
You're behind of my years and years long medication      
Why are you abandoning your darkest of creations      
     
I won't cry to you that I'm more than a body, I find it funny      
Because you won't be more than that when I get to you, you have it coming      
     
When my cold fingers are warmed by a warm barrel
Then you'll know what looks like a torn moral      
My comfort is the fact that you too were born mortal      
     
Thirst for violence isn't necessarily what you lack      
A warning is the last thing you'll have      
I have a trigger and you will beg me to pull that
 
Do you have nightmares of you as well?      
Can you some nights forget about yourself?      
Come to me, I made you a bed.      
For the first time in years, I've slept well      
     
I don't understand this type of self-sabotage      
No questions asked of what you have caused      
You can get a good grip of this wall of scars      
     
I'm so little against my hate      
Fear to me is just a bait      
How oddly terrifying is my state      
     
Come see me, come meet me, I know you're there  
Are you hiding, seeing you has become growingly rare      
I give you every opportunity now do something that makes me scared      
     
I'm going to run      
Not away but towards you      
Imagine if I could be as cruel as you      
     
Your blood is surprisingly warm for a person with such a cold heart    
People call you nice so I guess you knew how to play your part      
Are you ready for a run I've given you a massive headstart      
     
Only coming to you is a deadline      
Don't know when, I'll just flip a dice      
Who'll count does your sins weigh more than mine      
     
Hold and control was your main rule      
You've turned everything so painful      
I guess I can't move on and be sane too      
     
Suffering is starting to be boring      
I think I understand what you're adoring      
I have grudge but no place to store it      
     
The only thing that will be left to cherish is your white outline      
It's on you, your demons knew how to torture mine      
I've been so long in the past I've started to doubt time      
     
Luckily humans too are just flesh      
Once again you're causing me stress      
Look at you, you've made such a mess      
     
Your blood will cuddle me to sleep      
I try to hide the fact that I'm a freak      
It isn't peace but silence that I seek      
     
Your soul is so dirty and cheap      
Your spine bends for being so weak      
Nothing in you is worth to keep      
     
I'll drown my pain in your blue eyes      
I'll show you the darkest of skies      
I know how to make me feel so nice      
     
You're the only person who could ever cause this      
I have so much to say but you make me so nauseous      
Do I sound like a broken record, then try to fucking pause it      
     
Most of my time with you I wish not to recall      
Does your sister and momma know your record      
I don't think you keep your sentencing papers as a decor      
     
Can't wait for them to know the truth      
Because when they do      
They'll turn their backs on you      
     
Your ruined knuckles from fighting people is your biggest flex      
People who threatened me for your sake enjoyed your respect      
''I could kill you''. You could've also loved me but that I didn't expect      
     
Your worst nightmares is my gentle truth      
I fear losing you, I fear not being the one ending you      
Home downstairs is the only place you're welcome to      
     
And I'll paint your name with mine      
Nothing can keep your world seperated from mine      
My demons are working overtime      
     
I'm holding in my honest laughter, not the one I let out when scared      
You're an idiot if you think I did that because I dared      
I don't know what happened but you went over the limit I bared      
     
I'm looking for you and slowly dissolve my heart      
I will find you and rip yours apart      
You're imbedded in me just like my birthmark      
     
I'm. So. Tired.      
Of my mind fuelling a fire      
I'd say you're safe but I'm not a liar      
     
Don't mistake my fire for a sun      
Years ago you may have won      
Yet now your debts weigh a ton      
     
You're far from a saint, helping your friends is your only good trait      
Good that you have people around you but what kind when they accept rape      
When you go to hell they won't be the ones waiting for you at the gate      
     
It seems like wrath is confirmed as today's sin  
What belongs to me is the only thing I'm taking  
You have debt to pay and I'm done with waiting  
 
Whoopsie daisy, you're not the only one who goes crazy      
Tomorrow maybe, but today I don't feel acting like a lady      
I get why fear is so tasty, being low-profile doesn't put my gun on safety      
     
I want to turn your face blue      
No one's sharing justice, unless you do      
Knocking on your door, dare to guess who