trust

 
I pray thee wilt thou see me
in my early hours I rose to greet thee
I am questioning my purpose before you
I fear blasphemy bubbled from my mouth
I would glorify but I would not falsely with anger in my gut

I think therefore I am
I am honest with you perhaps not before man
I fear you would strike me if a lie formed in my heart
I'm in love with you the divine nature of your being

I am awe struck by your creation
I am one among the multitudes
the sea of faces
who am I to rise up and ask do you recognize me?
I wonder do I come from your heart?
did I leave your kingdom with an arrogant thought?

I believed I would make a difference
I fear I have not
taken away by the mighty abyss
I seek refuge in your gates
I am nothing really without you
I'm deeply in love with you

you've given me unconditional love when I deserved none
you sat by my sick bed and held my head up when I was struck mad
I want to honor you with my voice
I go to the churches to praise but I feel false

I feel at home in your creation
I find you among the rows
Lu is loose he confuses me
I wonder can you love him anew?
will there be a treaty?
is it too soon or too late in the day?

I remember the land of men
I was one among the truth
we sang in harmony until jealousy struck a chord of unrest
to turn back time my soul reaches backwards
I catch traces of laughter and joy it haunts me

echoing through space our traditions
war where war is necessary love where love in necessary
our creed how is it it's broken
did a fight break out that couldn't be prevented?
why do I fear I was at fault?
did I see a flicker in Lucifer's eyes?
did I hold something back when it was time for confession?

in my soul I suffer brother fucker
you were always my favorite
I grieve inside myself
I know it's too late you don't trust me
more importantly I don't trust myself

I'm not ordering you away I have too much respect for you
my heart breaks I wonder why you bother with me
I will never be the same
I am infamous in the hierarchy I failed you