deepundergroundpoetry.com
Feast or Famine
Abandonment
…who makes that first move? when is the line crossed between feast and famine?
Sitting alone in the magic of my creation…my sanctuary… I feel the love and the presence of those that have touched my heart. It used to comfort me. Holding me with energetic imprints of a time once treasured. Holding it against that eternal essence of who I AM.
What is it really all for? Loss stacks up, and a fire in me rises to meet it yet all that does is make me feel split within myself. I am the fire and ice, I am soft and jaded, I am a human in conflict with being human.
Wanting to believe in the world and its goodness feels lost on bitter words and hateful people. The underbelly of this world, the darkness, the evil has a power that exhausts the light. Dims the hope.
I AM a believer in all things of light, I was born to be in service of…and yet this…this light is tested daily in small increments greed, jealousy, hate the undermining of all that is innocent inside the core of who we are.
So in a sense, I’m currently navigating the silent void. In search of a purpose higher then the soil beneath my feet.
And then I sigh…reading this and knowing no matter how tested, how hurt I am, I AM a survivor.
Void or Eden.
…who makes that first move? when is the line crossed between feast and famine?
Sitting alone in the magic of my creation…my sanctuary… I feel the love and the presence of those that have touched my heart. It used to comfort me. Holding me with energetic imprints of a time once treasured. Holding it against that eternal essence of who I AM.
What is it really all for? Loss stacks up, and a fire in me rises to meet it yet all that does is make me feel split within myself. I am the fire and ice, I am soft and jaded, I am a human in conflict with being human.
Wanting to believe in the world and its goodness feels lost on bitter words and hateful people. The underbelly of this world, the darkness, the evil has a power that exhausts the light. Dims the hope.
I AM a believer in all things of light, I was born to be in service of…and yet this…this light is tested daily in small increments greed, jealousy, hate the undermining of all that is innocent inside the core of who we are.
So in a sense, I’m currently navigating the silent void. In search of a purpose higher then the soil beneath my feet.
And then I sigh…reading this and knowing no matter how tested, how hurt I am, I AM a survivor.
Void or Eden.
Published 21st Feb 2021
Author's Note
I haven't been able to write much lately. Sorry for the vent but it really felt good to write anything. After three car accidents in the past two years and the concussions it's been difficult. It changed me. Then the loss, the loss of so many that I have loved, it's been devastating. I'm not giving into the darkness but this is me walking the fine line between light and dark. Thank you for reading my words..xoxo
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21st Feb 2021 2:14pm
Dear T,
By your authors note alone you are a champion. That’s a metric ton of ick you’ve been through. Your fifth stanza reached out for a choke hold on my emotional imprisonment as of late and has shaken loose many ugly feelings for me to contemplate in their own right and guide me to your sixth stanza of finding the purpose of my being here and how I impact everyone around me. If this is venting for you, it’s the most poetic version of one I’ve ever encountered. If this was a vent by me there’d have been a boat load of nasty four letter words...I have found a great deal to relate to here and consider this a very prayerful insight to finding a happy medium in this current existence. I’m very grateful for this write this morning. Beautiful poem! H🌷
By your authors note alone you are a champion. That’s a metric ton of ick you’ve been through. Your fifth stanza reached out for a choke hold on my emotional imprisonment as of late and has shaken loose many ugly feelings for me to contemplate in their own right and guide me to your sixth stanza of finding the purpose of my being here and how I impact everyone around me. If this is venting for you, it’s the most poetic version of one I’ve ever encountered. If this was a vent by me there’d have been a boat load of nasty four letter words...I have found a great deal to relate to here and consider this a very prayerful insight to finding a happy medium in this current existence. I’m very grateful for this write this morning. Beautiful poem! H🌷
Thank you so much. It's a strange place to be. The world is hard enough to process let alone all the day to day life issues and the changes there. You always honor me with such amazing comments and I send love and and positive energy to you for days filled with grace and ease..xoxo And thank you also for adding it to your reading list...
Tracey, we are all tested daily, and it's not easy. However, I choose to believe everything is here to serve me; even the bad situations, circumstances, and flat out dishonesty. It shows me where I need to exert compassion the most; where I need to be more gentle with myself; and, most importantly, where I need to grow. While these dark things you have mentioned do indeed take their toll and can seem draining, they cannot penetrate the protective shell of light and take root.
I am happy you are a survivor, and think you expressed this wonderfully.
Much love and light your way. xo
I am happy you are a survivor, and think you expressed this wonderfully.
Much love and light your way. xo
25th Feb 2021 00:56am
You are so correct. There are days I get exhausted. But that flame is always lit. Thank you for being there as a fellow lightworker..xoxo
25th Feb 2021 2:34am
3rd Mar 2021 5:43am
Ouch, 3 car crashes in 2 years (from one who survived a collision that thank God left no one physically injured). Right to take a break to recover..
