Distraction from the Obvious

I think it took almost dying
To make me realize a few things
The most recent that I've realized
Is that make up is a mask we wear
I've never given make up much thought
Wearing it only on special occasions
When I was at the hospital I just started...
Buying things that I had always wanted
But always telling myself that it was too much
And entirely, entirely not worth it right now
But lately I've been having this attitude
This deep seeded fuck that I almost Died
And what? Left a measly four thousand for people to fight over?
No... So I bought a blue eye shadow pallet
And my god... What a wonderful fucking mask
People are too busy looking at my eyelids
Than the dark marks deepening under my eyes
They're too busy judging my lack of skill
Than the fact I'm dizzy and wabbling
Ah, the joy it is to not give any fucks
Let them remember me as blue eyeshadow girl
Than that fat sick girl I had to take blood from
I just want to be more fabulous than ill