ideation

no one can hate me more than I hate the skin stretched across my back
 because no ones in my head
 and I'll be damned if I ever press that gun through my head
 and let the cocktail of silence slip down my throat
 It takes bravery to fall into nothing
weakness for you not to jump off the edge,
 because somewhere inside of you there is love you don't deserve from yourself.

 and when you don't believe in god
who's hand is gonna catch you when you streak through empty air?

and somewhere in you death is the end of the world and nothing ever existed
 and I'll be damned if I sleep in cells with bars standing before myself and I

because well,
whether it's my fault or genetics spread through blood, I'm always gonna be sick somewhere in my brain.
and it will eat away at my will to try.
until

nothing
is
left