deepundergroundpoetry.com
spiritus.
every morning,
I awake still tired,
yawning
expecting to stumble past
the din of breakfast dishes
being scraped free
of frozen waffles
drowned
in way too much syrup,
and cracked voices
on the verge of becoming
low and solid
arguing over
who’s riding shotgun
on the way to school
(then.)
my noisy mind
once begged for peace
daily
making my way
towards the kitchen,
to the piping hot
chemical addiction
that kept me
high enough
to function,
dosing to calm
the storms brewing
as I slept,
unable to keep watch
until that one day
after they’d all gone
to walk their own paths,
when I realized
I’d gotten so much
quiet
it overwhelmed
everything else
...except the truth, that is
no one told me about the ghosts
that would haunt my walk
to the coffee pot
(now.)
the living room at 2 am,
my skin sits on the couch
next to me
wearing all the chains
that bound it
to that other life
digging deep
into my ribs
they’d gained an inch
at the end of every exhale,
until I forgot
I too, needed air
a tomb of expectations
I never had a chance
of meeting
stuffed to bursting
with romantic notions
writ of my youth,
struggling against
the muscle memory
of the only existence
I knew there to be,
and how
I tried so hard
to make it all look
normal
from the outside
never mind how it felt to be a liar
I’ve finally been peeled
of that too-tight flesh,
and I know I’ll never again
get all of
this
back inside of
that
not since I’ve expanded
sitting naked and free
in the flickering glow
of a tv that isn’t mine,
on the verge of a life
that is
I have no idea how to take a full breath
Published 22nd Nov 2020
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likes 13
reading list entries 7
comments 16
reads 225
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The author encourages honest critique.
22nd Nov 2020 5:33pm
I feel like I've done a lot of growing lately.... but as I read this, and think about my twin boys heading off to university next year, I can only imagine now what might bloom in the quiet they leave behind.
Thanks for this excellent, introspective write.
Thanks for this excellent, introspective write.
23rd Nov 2020 2:53pm
It’s day we prepare for from the moment they are born, and then we blink and it’s here. Thank you so much for reading and the honor of your RL, K 💜
22nd Nov 2020 5:52pm
To describe the echo, the absence of, in haunting intimate detail, captivates the mind and touches the heart. We are the only animal species that contemplates and articulates the passage of time and how it is so much wind blown sand, erasing the face of the Sphinx and rendering proud Ozymandias into dust. Beautifully rendered with sensitivity and paced measure.
23rd Nov 2020 2:56pm
Time erases every trace of us all, eventually. Your 40’s really arrive to drive that point home lol. Thank you, as always, for the insight and the RL 💜
22nd Nov 2020 8:05pm
23rd Nov 2020 2:57pm
22nd Nov 2020 9:44pm
You breathe a bit deeper, and a bit deeper until you fully expand. . .the same way you take one step at a time; the same way you wake each day and rise to greet it. . .
A beautiful documentary of an emptying nest, Luna. None of us realizing how swiftly it passes by, do we?
A beautiful documentary of an emptying nest, Luna. None of us realizing how swiftly it passes by, do we?
23rd Nov 2020 3:04pm
It’s definitely one of those things that cares very little how much time you’ve spent preparing, it’s going to blindside you, anyway lol. I’ve had so many life events converge at once to shine light down a singular path, it seems crazy to think I’m supposed to be anywhere else. As we go, one breath and one foot at a time. Thank you for the RL and for your wisdom 💜
Every time I read from you I get to know you that much better. I truly enjoy your descriptive and vivid writings . You are a story teller and I love your stories all of em mama! And as Ava said, empty nest syndrome is very emotional on many levels
Love this Luna 👍🏻😘
Jackie
Love this Luna 👍🏻😘
Jackie
23rd Nov 2020 3:06pm
Thank you so much, B 💜. It makes me happy to know you find resonance here.
Anonymous
23rd Nov 2020 12:55pm
There are some days when I see a long poem to read and I'm like, Meh - I don't have the attention span for this. But it never fails. You're writing is always like a stream of consciousness effortlessly flowing downhill.
Where does the time go? And yet it's not even Half Time .....
Where does the time go? And yet it's not even Half Time .....
23rd Nov 2020 3:12pm
Thank you so much, Johnny 💜. Time flies when you’re busy paying attention to everything else. I never really understood that until I woke up one day in my 40’s lol.
24th Nov 2020 7:46pm
Your writing is amazing; truly immersive - you really know how to take the reader in. And your formatting is so impressive. I so wish I could format like you - alas, I use the excuse that I am impatient or too busy. Yes, that is what I will tell myself.
25th Nov 2020 5:33am
28th Nov 2020 5:08am
The cost of walking in two worlds at once is being lost or last in both
28th Nov 2020 5:15am
