deepundergroundpoetry.com
The Middle of the Train Track
Wait.
I wait at the station.
Eager and curious
Filled with elation
Look.
I look for you.
Handsome and dark
My heart races before you
The kindest of eyes
The warmest of smiles
I am ready to go with you
For miles and miles
I took my hand in yours
As the train opened its doors
“There’s room for two by the door”
At a table meant for more
Time flies by
As you look me in the eye
Take me on a joy ride
I have nothing to hide
Bare.
I bare no doubt.
You know me now
Both in and out
Please tell me how
You go about
With all this pain
Your heart suppresses
Calm and gentle
Despite life’s stresses
Has it turned you cold?
Or has it made you kind?
Does it calm your soul?
Or does it haunt your mind?
Loved.
I’ve never loved so purely.
Forever yours
I know this surely
We leave this train
On to another
A rockier road
But with you
I suffer
With you I am strong
This love is
Lifelong
We’re on the other train
But suddenly
You push me out
Instead of pouring rain
All I am now
is drought
Fall.
I fall back.
Strapped tight
To the middle of the train track
Ropes don’t bind me
Lost hope stands behind me
Pressing down my skull
Cracking bones with every hull
Burning at the wrists
And all the places that you’ve kissed
This pleasure reads pain
From the vessel to the vein
Am I really insane?
All aboard your crazy train
You lied.
You deceived.
Broken promises I received
Were those crocodile tears?
That masked all your fears?
Or was that real?
I still lay here
Waiting for things to be clear
You make me question my sanity
But was that your guilt, or your vanity?
Or was I your ticket
To the wrong station
Was it love and trust
Or revenge’s incarnation
I don’t know if it’s delusion
That helped you believe your illusion
Gaslight the truth
Waste what’s left of your youth
Thank.
Thank you.
For throwing me out
The back of this train
And skewing my view
Thank.
Thank you.
For showing me that truth
Was something you left
Back at the ticket booth
Thank.
Thank you.
For having the nerve
To be an example
Of what I don’t deserve
Need.
I don’t need your attention.
To prove that your loss of me
Was enough for detention
But I hope you got your redemption
And that you see it through
During this train’s connection
You hurt the only one
Who truly loved you.
I wait at the station.
Eager and curious
Filled with elation
Look.
I look for you.
Handsome and dark
My heart races before you
The kindest of eyes
The warmest of smiles
I am ready to go with you
For miles and miles
I took my hand in yours
As the train opened its doors
“There’s room for two by the door”
At a table meant for more
Time flies by
As you look me in the eye
Take me on a joy ride
I have nothing to hide
Bare.
I bare no doubt.
You know me now
Both in and out
Please tell me how
You go about
With all this pain
Your heart suppresses
Calm and gentle
Despite life’s stresses
Has it turned you cold?
Or has it made you kind?
Does it calm your soul?
Or does it haunt your mind?
Loved.
I’ve never loved so purely.
Forever yours
I know this surely
We leave this train
On to another
A rockier road
But with you
I suffer
With you I am strong
This love is
Lifelong
We’re on the other train
But suddenly
You push me out
Instead of pouring rain
All I am now
is drought
Fall.
I fall back.
Strapped tight
To the middle of the train track
Ropes don’t bind me
Lost hope stands behind me
Pressing down my skull
Cracking bones with every hull
Burning at the wrists
And all the places that you’ve kissed
This pleasure reads pain
From the vessel to the vein
Am I really insane?
All aboard your crazy train
You lied.
You deceived.
Broken promises I received
Were those crocodile tears?
That masked all your fears?
Or was that real?
I still lay here
Waiting for things to be clear
You make me question my sanity
But was that your guilt, or your vanity?
Or was I your ticket
To the wrong station
Was it love and trust
Or revenge’s incarnation
I don’t know if it’s delusion
That helped you believe your illusion
Gaslight the truth
Waste what’s left of your youth
Thank.
Thank you.
For throwing me out
The back of this train
And skewing my view
Thank.
Thank you.
For showing me that truth
Was something you left
Back at the ticket booth
Thank.
Thank you.
For having the nerve
To be an example
Of what I don’t deserve
Need.
I don’t need your attention.
To prove that your loss of me
Was enough for detention
But I hope you got your redemption
And that you see it through
During this train’s connection
You hurt the only one
Who truly loved you.
Published 20th Oct 2020
Author's Note
I do not feel this way any more, I wrote this in the heat of the moment. I have moved on and let go, and I finally feel free.
In the lines:
Instead of pouring rain
all I am now is drought
There is a double meaning. My name, Dima, means downpour, turning into drought means to me a loss of my identity and a feeling of nothingness.
In the lines:
Instead of pouring rain
all I am now is drought
There is a double meaning. My name, Dima, means downpour, turning into drought means to me a loss of my identity and a feeling of nothingness.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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7th Nov 2020 4:59pm
Thank you for the insight in the author's notes, it is appreciated. The metaphor of the train is well rendered, translating with fluidity and bringing across your meaning. The nuances of emotion and time are well rendered. Thank you for being here with us Dima.
