dark ball

last night I felt a panic
something I couldn't come down from
it felt like I was sinking like the titanic
I started to feel dumb

the negative thoughts increased in my mind
I started holding my head
why was this the way I'm designed
I dyed my hair red

I feel a dark ball inside me
anger pain being scared and ashamed
I want to be carefree
I'm tired of being afraid

my inner child is a mess
she always so emotional
so many things I don't want address
this is so uncontrollable

I usually like to bury her to not come out
she comes in with intense emotions
so many things to workout
i feel so numb so frozen