A Pirate's Booty

 
Ahoy all ye scallywags and scurby landlubbers
I be searchin’ fer a wench who knows how t’ swab me deck
So land ho she can’t be no skank or else walk off me plank
I wants t’ shower a beauty in me booty up to her neck

Avast! I found her - this bird sets me cannons to fire
She’s o’er thar sittin’ on top of that barrel drum
Ah look at that me lads I’ve never seen or had a dream
A strumpet who knows how t’ drink and handle her rum

I’ve looted ‘n pillaged nigh-on every island ‘n village
But I 'ave ne'er found such a cute a maiden as this
She'll be me treasure 'n prolly me new found pleasure
She can send shivers up me timber wit’ just one kiss

I won’t contend I’m already three sheets to th’ wind
This rum has given me some courage t’ natter t’ her
This lass has plenty of booty to plunder her goodies
But she’s jus' th' kind o' siren I’ve been a lookin' fer

Drink up me harties ‘n enjoy this swashbucklin’ party
Watch as I sweet talk her 'n sweep her off her feet
She be like th' kind o' gal t' boost up me morale
And I’ll be a bettin’ I’ll be a gettin’ a little treat

“Ye shut your mouth or I’ll ‘ave yer hide” she said
“I be a decent maid ‘cause I be tired of ye crooks,
Lots o’ ye sailors come in ‘n try to git me t’ bed
But if ye don't listen t' me then put up yer dukes”

I’ll mind me manners if ye excuse me grammar
But a seadog like me has ne'er seen th' likes o' ye
So pardon me miss but I’ll romance ye fer a kiss
'Cause I reckon I 'ave fallen in love wit' ye

“Don’t try to trick me ye pirate or I’ll get mighty irate
Tonight ye say this 'n tomorrow ye’re off t' sea
So if ye really wants t' owns it better put a rin' on it
'Cause if ye ever leave me I get half o' yer booty”

That’s how I came t’ be married, horny ‘n hurried
Like th' buried treasure I once discover’d in days o' ole
Turns out she loved th’ log so she gave me ten sprogs
All ‘cause I wanted t’ give her me long john silver ‘n gold