Corrupted Data

So I sit in the hospital
thinking to myself
at this point
I feel like a memory card
once it has been reset
in the gaming system
I feel as if I'm corrupted
As I give birth to my son
instead of feeling like
I have won I think
of the fact that he
only had a 50/50 chance
to survive I don't know
what to feel my mind is clouded
I find my self pushing for the 50 percentile
Yet I'm wondering if I'll get the chance
to hear you call me mommy
For me to hear how you feel when i call you son
I tried my hardest to make myself believe
that they kept you for tests
Constantly thinking that i never heard you speak or cry
made feel like i never be sane so i tricked into believing
you'd be back
When i finally allowed myself to face reality
That i gave birth to you
Yet you only lived inside of me
The moment I brought into the world
You never had the chance to breath
Cause you passed away
as soon as you left my stomach that day