chemically restrained

 
I'm fading away inside
I can't feel my heart
my feelings disconnected objects
I turn them over in my mind
and gaze at them in wonder

I'm numb
my emotions wrapped in plastic
trapped

I hate this feeling of nothingness
a suspended state of animation
depression in shades of denial
I want to believe I'm really living
but the best of me is under wraps
cos the worst of me overwhelms--
when I'm manic

I know it will come, my sadness
it will flood over my soul
and drown me in pain
my feelings for now frozen
in psychiatric hell
screaming inside somewhere--
way down deep

chemically restrained not to feel...anything
sooner or later my demons will escape