Shaved

  
This pandemic has had me on lockdown
I was beginning to look like a wild yahoo  
My curls were coming down to my brows  
My hair’s a nightmare with no real do  
   
I tried to give my wife “thee sexy looks”  
But she smirked, uninterested and amused  
“I can’t take you serious with that hair”  
Unbelievable, my advances she refused!  
   
Every morning I’d shower, primp and prep  
Ready to work online and look appealing  
But unlike mirrors zoom didn’t really reflect  
That my hair was getting closer to the ceiling  
   
My barber has been closed for months  
But my wife just couldn’t wait anymore  
And though she had practiced on my boys  
I told her “next week” with trembling valor  
   
But my bedroom antics turned to frantic tactics  
“You could pull my hair” I’d say desperately  
And though her eyes were fixed on my head  
She’d still pull it but then not give me any  
   
So one afternoon right after I got out of work  
I said “OK, it’s time, let’s get this done”  
Oh she smiled with excitement and joy  
To which I naively added “I trust you hon”  
   
First she shaved the sides, then the back  
Right away I felt the cool and crisp air  
I couldn’t believe how long it had gotten  
Looking down on the floor, is that all my hair?  
   
We went for the mohawk look next    
It’s not an appealing look at forty-five  
But for shits and giggles post it to Instagram  
It’s a bit punk but I sure did look spry  
   
Finally it all came off, I’m completely bald  
My head has been completed shaved  
Oh you dirty birds thought differently  
But at last! I can finally misbehave