deepundergroundpoetry.com
Acceptance
I was always a little bit shy,
Never understanding why
It's been so difficult to vocalize
My inability to socialize.
"You do just fine!" they always say;
Yet, I can’t keep these thoughts at bay:
'Don’t talk to me, just stay away.
Come back again another day.'
As the anxious feelings grew,
And from society, I withdrew;
I began to question my behavior
Trying to be some kind of savior.
I pondered every diagnosis
From depression to psychosis,
And convinced myself that I was mad.
That was really fucking bad!
As time went by, I came to see
That nothing’s really wrong with me.
But, through the lens of our society,
I almost lost my sanity.
Never understanding why
It's been so difficult to vocalize
My inability to socialize.
"You do just fine!" they always say;
Yet, I can’t keep these thoughts at bay:
'Don’t talk to me, just stay away.
Come back again another day.'
As the anxious feelings grew,
And from society, I withdrew;
I began to question my behavior
Trying to be some kind of savior.
I pondered every diagnosis
From depression to psychosis,
And convinced myself that I was mad.
That was really fucking bad!
As time went by, I came to see
That nothing’s really wrong with me.
But, through the lens of our society,
I almost lost my sanity.
Published 29th Mar 2020
Author's Note
Came up with this in about 20 minutes... just how I'm feeling in the moment. If I second guess sharing this, I probably never will, so here goes. Am I coming to terms or giving up?
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 27
reading list entries 11
comments 18
reads 932
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
29th Mar 2020 2:23am
Shiness, we all have a certain degree of the problem too. It's brave of you to decode yourself and let it out.
This is an artwork itself because it's beautiful to read as a rhyming poem.
Love
Jasmine
This is an artwork itself because it's beautiful to read as a rhyming poem.
Love
Jasmine
29th Mar 2020 2:39am
Dear NB,
I think letting it out lessens its hold over you. It’s the most courageous thing to share a fear or an anxiety. I commend you for this as it helps all of us realize we are not alone when we experience these same or similar feelings. I certainly appreciate it. Well written also, I thought the rhyming was very nicely done. Great write. H🌷
I think letting it out lessens its hold over you. It’s the most courageous thing to share a fear or an anxiety. I commend you for this as it helps all of us realize we are not alone when we experience these same or similar feelings. I certainly appreciate it. Well written also, I thought the rhyming was very nicely done. Great write. H🌷
29th Mar 2020 3:28am
29th Mar 2020 3:58am
Yep. The world is full of cretins who question anyone who doesn't fit in with plan. Good write NB.
hugs,
buddhakitty.
hugs,
buddhakitty.
Anonymous
29th Mar 2020 4:18am
Whoa NB.......you nailed this.......so many times I’ve thought about myself a worthless soul cause I was told so.......then I look in the past and to where I’m at now and realize after tears have fallen while depression moves in......that stars still shine.......words still flow and there’s souls like you who understand.......super thought provoking ink.......never sop looking within your soul.......cause yours is filled with beauty.......purple luv & hugs xo :)
29th Mar 2020 6:28am
29th Mar 2020 7:41am
Brilliantly expressed and written, sites like these and other poetry sites can sometimes help with shyness, self confidence, etc 🌹
29th Mar 2020 8:14am
Sometimes we all lose our sanity, but it is how we did what it that makes who we are. Keep on writing.
29th Mar 2020 9:08am
NewBeggings my luv,
To even question whether or not you are mad, is the precise answer that you are not. A mad person is never aware their behavior is questionable lol
You have not given up, nor have you given in.
We all must allow ourselves the time to " loose it" for a bit, my dear.
We are human beings. We are not the perfection of a deity luv..
Thought provoking piece.
With Respect
Lagertha🙌
To even question whether or not you are mad, is the precise answer that you are not. A mad person is never aware their behavior is questionable lol
You have not given up, nor have you given in.
We all must allow ourselves the time to " loose it" for a bit, my dear.
We are human beings. We are not the perfection of a deity luv..
Thought provoking piece.
With Respect
Lagertha🙌
Realising you might be mad is the most wonderful thing you can do in your lifetime, it shows living inner strength, 100% clear visibility and absolute awareness of who you are and what you are not, that is mad, it’s everyone else in this world who hasn’t focused on those insightful inner meanings and self teachings, that are mad.
PS: I like the way you are, because you know who you are....
PS: I like the way you are, because you know who you are....
29th Mar 2020 11:55am
Nicely done never change who you are to thyself for one to accept their flaws and imperfections is a sign of growth and development of the heart and soul and mind for to know oneself is to understand wholeheartedly that you are not perfect but still a work in progress..respect poet
29th Mar 2020 12:35pm
the inner probing search depths at which we feel ourselves .. is more the life's purpose .. the inner sync.. through which we sync with the universe, the all around.. & in this traverse this liberation, whatever the superficial existences see us in their dreaded filters .. is not helping anyone even to their narrowed minds.. Light & Love NB .. follow the depths ..of heart & soul ..as you do .
29th Mar 2020 5:54pm
Endlessly relatable my friend 🙌👏 I've struggled with the exact same thing for as long as I can remember, I let that feeling really ruin everything for a while
convinced myself I was too weird or boring and uninteresting and did as you did
"I pondered every diagnosis
From depression to psychosis,
And convinced myself that I was mad.
That was really fucking bad!"
Same I did this over and over again
A never-ending loop of what ifs in my head
it made me not wanna live that long to be honest but once I got outta highschool it got better and once I started writing I was able to analyze these feelings in a different way
and not beat myself up cause I may feel that but I think this is more like coming to terms cause in the end you realized like myself
"As time went by, I came to see
That nothing’s really wrong with me.
But, through the lens of our society,
I almost lost my sanity."
Truth friend 🙌👏 life is too strange lol
Great piece NewB!
convinced myself I was too weird or boring and uninteresting and did as you did
"I pondered every diagnosis
From depression to psychosis,
And convinced myself that I was mad.
That was really fucking bad!"
Same I did this over and over again
A never-ending loop of what ifs in my head
it made me not wanna live that long to be honest but once I got outta highschool it got better and once I started writing I was able to analyze these feelings in a different way
and not beat myself up cause I may feel that but I think this is more like coming to terms cause in the end you realized like myself
"As time went by, I came to see
That nothing’s really wrong with me.
But, through the lens of our society,
I almost lost my sanity."
Truth friend 🙌👏 life is too strange lol
Great piece NewB!
29th Mar 2020 7:09pm
My insanity keeps me sane
Self reflection, true self awareness....and comfort with self, always a new beginning
Thank you for this
Self reflection, true self awareness....and comfort with self, always a new beginning
Thank you for this
29th Mar 2020 10:12pm
I guess you chose to be lead by the masses in that last verse. What I mean is, we can always try & be made to feel inadequate, even just by the adverts we watch on TV. That kinda media will have us believe that we should all have the latest of whatever they're offering & if not, WHY NOT! lol. ;-) Maybe you are coming to terms.
Lovely poem.
Lovely poem.
31st Mar 2020 8:29am
As time went by, I came to see
That nothing’s really wrong with me.
But, through the lens of our society,
I almost lost my sanity.
It seems as though a lot of people can relate to what you've written.
There's nothing wrong with you. If anything, you're brave. Most people won't honestly address their fears. I've read through your poems, but this one is, by far, my favorite. So organic and honest. Well done.
That nothing’s really wrong with me.
But, through the lens of our society,
I almost lost my sanity.
It seems as though a lot of people can relate to what you've written.
There's nothing wrong with you. If anything, you're brave. Most people won't honestly address their fears. I've read through your poems, but this one is, by far, my favorite. So organic and honest. Well done.
10th Apr 2020 1:53am
I love this. Perfectly expressed. I could tell it was from the heart and that made it amazing. Sometimes life is hard. You just got to keep fighting. I was always shy myself. I would eat at lunch by myself because I had trouble with people. So I get it. Sometimes you feel alone.
23rd Oct 2021 6:01pm
