deepundergroundpoetry.com
it's times when i get, like...
when electricity starts traveling from synapses to pelvis
down into the kiss itself
and it goes all heavy like
i'm flushed
aching
to be brushed[sucked]touched by any____, so
leaning into the bathroom counter to brush my teeth
or put on mascara can set it right the fuck off... and I'm like
goddamn desperate with spinning head and shoulder on the wall
hand on mirror and a hip on the sink
irises locked back into skull for a second's
distraction
quit thinking of...
[mm, 'cause that always works]
so i hiss him away.
again.
-slam-
fuck.
down into the kiss itself
and it goes all heavy like
i'm flushed
aching
to be brushed[sucked]touched by any____, so
leaning into the bathroom counter to brush my teeth
or put on mascara can set it right the fuck off... and I'm like
goddamn desperate with spinning head and shoulder on the wall
hand on mirror and a hip on the sink
irises locked back into skull for a second's
distraction
quit thinking of...
[mm, 'cause that always works]
so i hiss him away.
again.
-slam-
fuck.
Published 5th Jan 2012
| Edited 6th Jan 2012
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 28
reading list entries 4
comments 57
reads 1424
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
5th Jan 2012 10:19pm
I know that feeling...Great write :)
5th Feb 2012 5:02pm
g'odd'amn
wonderfull.....
yr on me follow-list
peaceUp[orD'own],sweets
wonderfull.....
yr on me follow-list
peaceUp[orD'own],sweets
5th Feb 2012 9:22pm
Jess,
very sensual, an experiment well worth the read.
I was thinking you bottled out of it a little by leaving the blank space and the ellipses, but i can see that it brings the reader to fill it in however he/she wishes.
all in, i think it's a good voice that runs through it, part tiger part shyness
well done !
very sensual, an experiment well worth the read.
I was thinking you bottled out of it a little by leaving the blank space and the ellipses, but i can see that it brings the reader to fill it in however he/she wishes.
all in, i think it's a good voice that runs through it, part tiger part shyness
well done !
5th Jan 2012 10:42pm
well thank you, good sir, for your thoughtful read. [:
i was hoping it would sort of carry the 'unsure', chaotic, snapping synapses feeling...a bit of a broken mind... but reading it aloud i do find there needs to be something after 'any', so i end up filling it in with 'thing' myself. pleased you enjoyed it at any rate. [:
i was hoping it would sort of carry the 'unsure', chaotic, snapping synapses feeling...a bit of a broken mind... but reading it aloud i do find there needs to be something after 'any', so i end up filling it in with 'thing' myself. pleased you enjoyed it at any rate. [:
5th Jan 2012 10:36pm
5th Jan 2012 10:42pm
6th Jan 2012 2:25am
J
Love your experiment.
A winner all the way.
Contained chaos of sorts.
This is memorable-
'irises locked back into
skull for a second's distraction..'
And from there it's a maelstorm.
Vintage. Signature.
Umm..Love it dear poetess.
Curtsy,
S'
Love your experiment.
A winner all the way.
Contained chaos of sorts.
This is memorable-
'irises locked back into
skull for a second's distraction..'
And from there it's a maelstorm.
Vintage. Signature.
Umm..Love it dear poetess.
Curtsy,
S'
6th Jan 2012 8:44am
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=chuff
Moreover, this rootedness of a kiss has wings that Linda Lovelace might have pondered, no demi-satisfaction, and a grip of trembling iron. Ummm in deed.
Next? Perhaps aerial fabrics....
http://www.aerialacrobat.com/img/aerial-yoga-09.jpg
PS I could not listen to the link...paint me saddened.
Moreover, this rootedness of a kiss has wings that Linda Lovelace might have pondered, no demi-satisfaction, and a grip of trembling iron. Ummm in deed.
Next? Perhaps aerial fabrics....
http://www.aerialacrobat.com/img/aerial-yoga-09.jpg
PS I could not listen to the link...paint me saddened.
1st Oct 2012 2:15pm
paint yourself joyful, my friend; i've made it available for a limited time only! [:
yeah, the chuff/kiss thang is basically how it is. aerial fabrics, i'm not entirely sure what to do with, but pleased you felt the "ummmmm" going on there. [:
yeah, the chuff/kiss thang is basically how it is. aerial fabrics, i'm not entirely sure what to do with, but pleased you felt the "ummmmm" going on there. [:
6th Jan 2012 2:37am
6th Jan 2012 8:47am
woo, thank you! love to get a good word from someone who knows and creates awesome. [:
Anonymous
6th Jan 2012 2:55am
imagery, fantastic read as always!
6th Jan 2012 8:48am
Anonymous
6th Jan 2012 3:15am
..this was worth posting away from the forums...and we like your little shaping tweaks since :-)
We do so love to come between a woman and her wants in a read.
DP
We do so love to come between a woman and her wants in a read.
DP
well, i am so very pleased that the committee agrees on these small matters. [:
it's a delight to have your good word as well, m'dear, because i know you'd give it to me straight if there were something amiss. [:
it's a delight to have your good word as well, m'dear, because i know you'd give it to me straight if there were something amiss. [:
Anonymous
6th Jan 2012 5:27am
Thats what we are waiting for Miss Jesta!
And the changes are wonderful.
Thank you
Blue Skies at ya!
Al -x-
And the changes are wonderful.
Thank you
Blue Skies at ya!
Al -x-
6th Jan 2012 9:00am
aw, thank you, Al. [:
trying to write through the months-long dry spell i seem to be permanently stuck in... also bonus that you noticed the tweaks, that's at least 2 points. [:
trying to write through the months-long dry spell i seem to be permanently stuck in... also bonus that you noticed the tweaks, that's at least 2 points. [:
6th Jan 2012 10:21am
hehehehe this is really well done... quite raw.. I think.. I'm no expert but I must say.. BRAVO :D
6th Jan 2012 1:02pm
raw! i don't get that one very often. thank you so much for stopping in, and welcome to DU. [:
6th Jan 2012 12:20pm
especially like how you've formatted it,
punctuation, "[]", "___", line lengths,
blank lines etc. there's a lot of it, all
a-jumble, really works with the subject matter
(did i just call it "subject matter", jeez,
really am getting jaded :)
punctuation, "[]", "___", line lengths,
blank lines etc. there's a lot of it, all
a-jumble, really works with the subject matter
(did i just call it "subject matter", jeez,
really am getting jaded :)
i thought you might enjoy the variety, Ray. [:
your comments and approvals are always appreciated.
ah yes, read Dr. Seuss's "The Cat In The Hat" and de-jade thyself, man! [:
your comments and approvals are always appreciated.
ah yes, read Dr. Seuss's "The Cat In The Hat" and de-jade thyself, man! [:
6th Jan 2012 2:17pm
wonerfully constructed. I felt like I was being sucked into a tornado of palabras while reading this
6th Jan 2012 3:46pm
thank you! i am so pleased it works for the poets. your palabras are well appreciated around here. [:
Anonymous
6th Jan 2012 9:42pm
i like the dizzy spin-rush of feelings you evoke. it's a hard thing to balance and make sensible, but you've done well in this one.
bye
6th Jan 2012 10:26pm
6th Jan 2012 10:42pm
Bloody great experiment
Bold and closed description of a feeling I know too well.
I adore the fact that we can fill in the blanks at our own discression and the 'like' at the end makes me visualize that huge sigh as you try to shoo those thoughts away as they make pesky neusances of themselves.
Perfect Jesta. And an absolute delight to read. Thank you x
Bold and closed description of a feeling I know too well.
I adore the fact that we can fill in the blanks at our own discression and the 'like' at the end makes me visualize that huge sigh as you try to shoo those thoughts away as they make pesky neusances of themselves.
Perfect Jesta. And an absolute delight to read. Thank you x
6th Jan 2012 10:49pm
vi! i don't rightly know what to say to that but thank you... you're my hero. [: x
6th Jan 2012 10:44pm
6th Jan 2012 10:53pm
Anonymous
6th Mar 2012 7:01am
Holy shit, Jesta! You got mad props on this one. Well deserved! But Im dying for you to recite it. I dare ya! Haha
6th Mar 2012 7:50am
dare me?? hm....i've been receiving a high concentration of those lately. you're on, cammy. you are on. [:
(and thank you.) [:
(and thank you.) [:
Anonymous
6th Mar 2012 3:04pm
Haha you did it! And it was fantastic! God damn Jesta! Sooo good! :)
6th Mar 2012 3:25pm
6th Mar 2012 2:23pm
6th Mar 2012 3:29pm
thank you, my darling! xx
maybe could've been more consistent in mood, but if you like it, i'm grinnin'. [:
maybe could've been more consistent in mood, but if you like it, i'm grinnin'. [:
Anonymous
6th Mar 2012 4:07pm
Jestalessa,
Awesome experiment! No dilution here, just full concentrate. Loved your ‘Hiss him away’ line as well as the wanton feeling trying to be controlled.
Enjoyed!
tornado
Awesome experiment! No dilution here, just full concentrate. Loved your ‘Hiss him away’ line as well as the wanton feeling trying to be controlled.
Enjoyed!
tornado
6th Mar 2012 4:45pm
hey, thanks, tornado! i'm glad you got the 'hiss him away' line...a little poetry amongst the prose; definitely trying to keep the monster under control here, even if the mood is set a bit light.
thank you for stopping in. [:
thank you for stopping in. [:
6th Mar 2012 4:47pm
6th Mar 2012 4:52pm
i don't know why having it described as 'brave' gave me a new perspective on it, but it really did! thank you for taking the time to say what you think...it's valuable. [:
7th Mar 2012 1:11am
well, it may have been too natural, certainly came easy. haha, thank you, DY [:
7th Mar 2012 1:43am
Simulated disorder postulates perfect discipline; simulated fear postulates courage; simulated weakness postulates strength. You have them all. Kudos.
7th Mar 2012 7:48am
7th Mar 2012 5:23am
7th Mar 2012 7:52am
9th Mar 2012 7:35am
Luurrve your playful spoken rendition of the piece! you're a gem, love. :)
9th Mar 2012 7:38am
hah! thank you! i have a more dramatic version as well, but my advisory board tells me this one suits it better. [:
wonderful to see you around, my love! x
wonderful to see you around, my love! x
9th Mar 2012 8:11pm
its brilliant, and by the time im posting this comment well discussed- but why and how am i the first to say its fucking hot!(subject,silence and speak)
15th Mar 2012 3:45pm
15th Mar 2012 4:05pm
12th Apr 2012 11:55pm
and i'm like.... wow
I love this work. It's brilliant && cheers to ur spoken session as well. Nicely done !
I love this work. It's brilliant && cheers to ur spoken session as well. Nicely done !
hey, thanks! welcome to DU; i see you like Anis...looking forward to checking your writes out as well. [:
ha, glad to know no i'm not alone when brushing my teeth in an innocent forward lean the sink counter becomes my amore... the unpredictability of arousal from the brilliancy of your horny mind, the video delivery, the slam fuck... definitely a universal sentiment in whatever vernacular one might use
