deepundergroundpoetry.com
The Fence
I dreamed I sat atop a fence,
watching two yards keeping score;
one spent days carefree and happy,
the other, in conflict and war
it seems most make this their purpose
choose your yard, then build a life;
but my rage is too sharp for peace,
and my love too soft for strife
watching two yards keeping score;
one spent days carefree and happy,
the other, in conflict and war
it seems most make this their purpose
choose your yard, then build a life;
but my rage is too sharp for peace,
and my love too soft for strife
Published 26th Jan 2020
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likes 11
reading list entries 6
comments 8
reads 359
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The author encourages honest critique.
26th Jan 2020 9:18pm
Very Luna... but a snowflake of an idea! Glad you snapped it befor it melted.❄️
I mean, I love it, you know! 💖💖💖
I mean, I love it, you know! 💖💖💖
26th Jan 2020 10:04pm
mm. There is depth to the message, shades of meaning, that is subtly counterpointed by it's sing song rhythm. Well played madam.
27th Jan 2020 2:03am
Excellent analogy, Luna. I very much enjoyed the rhyme. It reads very well aloud.
3rd Feb 2020 3:35am
Dear L,
This is so spot on. This piece reminds me of a Dr. Seuss book I found years ago called The Butter Battle Book. I loved the analogy and your excellent poem
has reminded me of that. Your incredible ability to formulate such intense human behavior in such understandable ways is a gift I could only dream. Excellent write. H🌷
This is so spot on. This piece reminds me of a Dr. Seuss book I found years ago called The Butter Battle Book. I loved the analogy and your excellent poem
has reminded me of that. Your incredible ability to formulate such intense human behavior in such understandable ways is a gift I could only dream. Excellent write. H🌷
1st May 2022 9:04pm
Once again, Dear Lady-Poet💫
I greet you with happy lips on my face and in my bardic breast.
From perfect title to final meaningful word, everything in-between speaks smooth as silk in spot-on syntax and rhyme to rhyme. Your imagination is original and keen, with a message of harmonious balance between peace and love (despite inner conflicts), no openminded reader could possibly miss or fail to appreciate, if not relate to.
Brings to mind the olde American Indian adage of the good wolf vs the bad wolf, "The one that wins is the one that's fed."
Quatrains is one of the most versatile of all poetic forms, and one of my favorite to compose in … you've certainly performed exemplary with yours. Especially cherished, are your penultimate and final lines; both of which (from reading your poems) I so admiringly and clearly discern in your true womanly nature.
In my mind's-eye, you're a writer to be respected and sought after, which I intend doing.
Thank you ever-so warmly and gratefully for sharing You with Us! ⁓ Richard🖌
I greet you with happy lips on my face and in my bardic breast.
From perfect title to final meaningful word, everything in-between speaks smooth as silk in spot-on syntax and rhyme to rhyme. Your imagination is original and keen, with a message of harmonious balance between peace and love (despite inner conflicts), no openminded reader could possibly miss or fail to appreciate, if not relate to.
Brings to mind the olde American Indian adage of the good wolf vs the bad wolf, "The one that wins is the one that's fed."
Quatrains is one of the most versatile of all poetic forms, and one of my favorite to compose in … you've certainly performed exemplary with yours. Especially cherished, are your penultimate and final lines; both of which (from reading your poems) I so admiringly and clearly discern in your true womanly nature.
In my mind's-eye, you're a writer to be respected and sought after, which I intend doing.
Thank you ever-so warmly and gratefully for sharing You with Us! ⁓ Richard🖌
1st May 2022 9:50pm
1st May 2022 10:50pm
