A Life's Chosen Sacrifice

Today feels like    
1000 bricks    
Placed      
And      
Balanced    
neatly on      
My shoulders      
     
It is not      
Depression      
It is      
Preparation      
For the battle    
I have chosen      
 
For a time    
Such as this    
     
Lead me    
Not into distraction    
Guide      
My feet    
My thoughts      
My obsession      
To perfection      
     
Dear brain
Dear spirit      
Don't fail me now    
Teach me    
What it means    
To live      
A life of progression      
Even through      
Isolation      
Stagnation      
Alienation    
     
I am counting      
On you    
On me    
On this ability      
That sometimes      
Only I can see    
Only I can feel    
Like a premonition      
A tangible weapon      
Armor    
That has been placed    
At arms length      
In front of me    
     
And so,    
It begins    
I walk to the stage  
The field    
Aware    
That    
My calling      
May be my end    
     
It was worth it.