deepundergroundpoetry.com
Irony
Is it possible to move through the ache of a broken heart that has pumped sand for so many years?
Every time I feel a surge of emotion rise I choke it out from so many hateful memories.
I didn’t want to ever be this person. Jaded, angry, bitter. Sad from a place that can’t be pinpointed because it moves swiftly through me hiding in each of my vulnerable spaces.
I can’t hate the man any more than I hate myself. It took two but I so wish I could have made out that price tag.
I teach people every day to love themselves. Ironic isn’t it?
In silence I write this…in silence I will die.
Every time I feel a surge of emotion rise I choke it out from so many hateful memories.
I didn’t want to ever be this person. Jaded, angry, bitter. Sad from a place that can’t be pinpointed because it moves swiftly through me hiding in each of my vulnerable spaces.
I can’t hate the man any more than I hate myself. It took two but I so wish I could have made out that price tag.
I teach people every day to love themselves. Ironic isn’t it?
In silence I write this…in silence I will die.
Published 19th Nov 2019
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19th Nov 2019 00:38am
Oh Lily, I so felt this. I feel this is from one of the deepest places in you, perhaps where the sand has scratched the surface of something sacred.
Betrayal is one of the most difficult pills to swallow. Sometimes it lodges bitterly in our throats - but the difference in those who remain bitter and jaded and you is obvious: you don't WANT to be. Believe me, I know a few who are in complete denial that any of their issues were brought on in part by themselves, and the choices they made. You clearly admit your part; you accept your responsibility; you declare you are not this person ( and you are not ). It may feel like it right now - but just as sand through an hourglass, Lily, it only has so much time. It will run out. And it will run out ONLY because you want it to.
So walk though the desert and imagine each grain is falling from that pill lodged in your throat, and one day, because it's in your heart, you will be able to swallow it and move onto a happy, peaceful, and rewarding life.
I wish you the best and will keep you in my daily meditations. <3
Betrayal is one of the most difficult pills to swallow. Sometimes it lodges bitterly in our throats - but the difference in those who remain bitter and jaded and you is obvious: you don't WANT to be. Believe me, I know a few who are in complete denial that any of their issues were brought on in part by themselves, and the choices they made. You clearly admit your part; you accept your responsibility; you declare you are not this person ( and you are not ). It may feel like it right now - but just as sand through an hourglass, Lily, it only has so much time. It will run out. And it will run out ONLY because you want it to.
So walk though the desert and imagine each grain is falling from that pill lodged in your throat, and one day, because it's in your heart, you will be able to swallow it and move onto a happy, peaceful, and rewarding life.
I wish you the best and will keep you in my daily meditations. <3
19th Nov 2019 1:07am
It was just odd today. The thought of loving someone again and being present for someone else. I just don't know if I have what it takes to dive into the softness of my soul. I'll keep the door open and I love the way you shared your thoughts. Maybe the the scratching sand is about to reveal something beautiful. Thank you love..xoxo
19th Nov 2019 1:09am
19th Nov 2019 1:57am
19th Apr 2020 4:20pm
Anonymous
19th Nov 2019 2:47am
Sista Lily......tears are in my eyes and my soul.......felt so much of our conversations in this ink......everything that we’ve shared with one another. You beautiful soul are very much worthy to be luved......you’re torturing yourself by not letting another to luv you.......cause you’re a giving that makes a lot of people feel blessed just by knowing you......I’m one of those.......RL for me......purple luv & hugs xo 🤗💜
19th Apr 2020 4:21pm
30th Dec 2019 00:53am
The "pumped sand" and "price tag" lines are clever, poignant metaphors or simile's...always unsure.
Brava, Tracey!
Brava, Tracey!
19th Apr 2020 4:21pm
