This Is Me

I'm not the man Id like to be,  
But at 44, I now know this is me.  
I have my good days and have my bad,  
I lock others out, which in itself is mad.  
 
Fearing, struggling, I lock myself in,  
Experiencing alone, my own suffering.  
Wanting, hunting, I step out of my comfort zone,  
When all the time I'm out, I just wanna be home.  
 
I self medicate with a double edged sword,  
To sever those voices Umbilical cord.  
With the silence comes isolation,  
Years wasted in procrastination.  
Self fullfilling my conditioned downfall,  
Doubting myself and my full potential.  
 
I'm not the man Id like to be,  
But at 44 I know this is me.  
I have my doubts, but I have never lost hope  
I know I have it in me, to find a better way to cope
 
WHW
X