the book of never was

 
you covet my breath
as it escapes my body in sighs
loaner junkie of the mind
getting off on my candied pain
yeah and I sugar coat things
for you babe, for you
 
ghost of my shadow
I look over my shoulder
there's always a hint of whiskey on the wind
tainted with curses and slurred words
what? you thought I couldn't hear you?
just so you know...I do
 
ignoring your moans at midnight
when you bury your sin in another
my inner pussy feels it every time
I'm the cunt who out cunts you
I know all your lies and alibis
you know I do...
 
still, I stalk your page
like you do mine
I've stayed all these years
so you would know me
so I would know myself
 
my love letters stop
when you pull away  
and forget for a moment you love me
I know I love you--
unrequited lust...cruel fate has chosen
 
for a moment you were mine
one day...just like today
we connected
 
you will deny the truth of it
in your arrogance--
cutting me with mock indifference
 
I die a thousand deaths
writing empty poetry books
dedicated to a love that could never be