Penis Envy

The first time I micro dosed mushrooms
was basically the best day of my not
finished life, it was only .3 I used a pestle
and mortar i mashed it to dust then put
it in a capsule.
30mins later I was relaxed
65mins there was a silence
and then more silence, my mind was still
the security gaurd who patrols my brain
was gone. I almost cried, no thoughts
except the realization that there are
people out there who feel like this all
the time. Then something my conscience
asked if could dance inside the silence
as much as tried to visualize me dancing
I could not, I tried and tried to see
myself moving enjoying my own white
noise, but it elluded me. Then I realised
the whole time I was trying to see myself
that's all there was. Me alone with myself
no racing janky thoughts just music and
calm and me. Nothing else. I was free
even if I couldn't see.

It lasted 2 weeks I was happy I could
drive on the expressway the death
thoughts ceased. It was nothing short
of amazing.

.3 every two weeks keeps me happy.