.

I'm so empty
I think its murdering me
All I can imagine is murdering myself
And it wouldnt be suicide theres to much self resentment for it to be suicide
I cant express the resentment I have for myself
And I cant express how happy I am you let go

I want say that I'm mad at you
That I hate you, I dont. I couldn't hold such harsh feelings towards you for telling me the truth
I wish it was easier to breathe
It feels like I'm going to lock myself away again
Most likely because I am doing so as I write this
I wanted so much for my gut feelings to be wrong but my heart screamed so loudly when you sent that text my ears are still ringing

I cant think of anything other than killing myself I want it so badly but I dont want people to be hurt
I wish I wasnt born
I wish my mom would have had that fucking abortion
I seem to continue to wreak havoc
I sent my emotions away I cant deal with them right now
So all i am left with is nothing
I am open and hurt and empty
I am so empty that when the wind blows you can hear it echo inside my heart
All I can imagine is the blood. I want so badly to rip me apart
It's all I deserve.
I mean how could i have fooled myself to think i could have held you
Without hurting you
I still dont know how to hold things softly