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I dont have a name for this poem.

To stop loving you
Would be me mending my heart
 
Ive never been good at sewing
The end result looks worse
 
So ill continue to love you
Continue to tell myself this hurt is a magic trick and i need to learn how to play the cards
Yet this is just me procrastinating  
 
Ive been told a variety of times of how long healing takes
Time limits all of my opitions
I saw a man that looked like you, at my step fathers mothers house and instantly told my mum i wanted to go home
That i missed my cat
It was the only thing i could think of doing instead of punishing a man that resembled you
I wanted to tell him i loved him
That he put the stars in my world and he created the oceans, that his eyes held all of the blues, all of them.
 
But he wasnt you, so it would be pointless to put all of that weight on him
 
When i looked at his face i saw long car rides and lots of hand holding, soft kisses and soft moans, laughs and smiles and i saw the words broken but i was thinking of your face when those words popped up.
 
Im so broken i recreate moments in my dreams of us and sob in the morning, i keep getting told to get back out there but how do i move forward with someone else?
 
Everyone else disgusts me, their name just flops off my tongue the thought of holding anothers hand makes me gag, the thought of making someone else smile makes me hyperventilate
i think thats why i dont want to be with anyone else.
Im hopeless.
Written by Anxiety
Published | Edited 24th Jul 2020
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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