Submissions by Anxiety
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
Poet Introduction
I just let my feelings spill out when I write, I’m not sure what i write anymore, please feel free to give me your honest opinions. I also reply to messages if anyone needs anything at all💕
LOVE POEM
Published
17th Apr 2024 4:23am
17th Apr 2024 4:23am
I’m glad this wasn’t
I love you endlessly
I wish I could have made you feel it
Instead of the loneliness I left you in
When you decided to tell me your heart had already made up it’s mind and I think you gave me a last ditch effort to make me feel better
But it didn’t make me feel better I feel worse knowing I was trying for nothing
But maybe I wasn’t trying for nothing
Maybe I wasn’t trying maybe I’m making up stories
I’m not sure what I can believe from my brain anymore I know I’m sick
And shitty
Really really shitty....
I wish I could have made you feel it
Instead of the loneliness I left you in
When you decided to tell me your heart had already made up it’s mind and I think you gave me a last ditch effort to make me feel better
But it didn’t make me feel better I feel worse knowing I was trying for nothing
But maybe I wasn’t trying for nothing
Maybe I wasn’t trying maybe I’m making up stories
I’m not sure what I can believe from my brain anymore I know I’m sick
And shitty
Really really shitty....
#anxiety
#regret
#disappointment #polyamory
#disappointment #polyamory
185 reads
0 Comments
DRUGS POEM
Published
22nd Sep 2023 6:16am
22nd Sep 2023 6:16am
I am
I am an alcoholic
I am an addict
In every possible way
I do not know how to live in moderation, I binge and abuse anything and everything
I do not know how to breathe in moderation, my therapist said that’s a panic attack.
I buy a bag or bottle/ whatever is available I’m not picky, it ends up being 8 grams in 3 days, 8 bottle in 3 days
I crash my car
I avoid getting a dui
I wake up wanting to go to rehab but never go to rehab it’s Father’s Day next week and it would break his heart my...
I am an addict
In every possible way
I do not know how to live in moderation, I binge and abuse anything and everything
I do not know how to breathe in moderation, my therapist said that’s a panic attack.
I buy a bag or bottle/ whatever is available I’m not picky, it ends up being 8 grams in 3 days, 8 bottle in 3 days
I crash my car
I avoid getting a dui
I wake up wanting to go to rehab but never go to rehab it’s Father’s Day next week and it would break his heart my...
#SelfHarm
#drugs
#addiction
#illness
#MentalHealth
466 reads
0 Comments
MISCELLANEOUS POEM
Published
12th Jun 2023 4:22am
12th Jun 2023 4:22am
I’m not sure
I’m sitting in my bed
I want to go home
I’m sitting in bed with my dog
I want to go home
With my cat
I want to go home
With myself
I want to go home
I want to go home
The sentence plays over and over in my brain
I’ve never had a strong sense of home
It’s always been my down fall
I make people homes
Open their rib cages and climb in
Make the bed and put up draperies
my nic nacs have a place here
But they always leave
Therefore I’m left again
Wandering in my brain
Wondering when I’ll learn to...
I want to go home
I’m sitting in bed with my dog
I want to go home
With my cat
I want to go home
With myself
I want to go home
I want to go home
The sentence plays over and over in my brain
I’ve never had a strong sense of home
It’s always been my down fall
I make people homes
Open their rib cages and climb in
Make the bed and put up draperies
my nic nacs have a place here
But they always leave
Therefore I’m left again
Wandering in my brain
Wondering when I’ll learn to...
#conflict
#greed
#disappointment
181 reads
1 Comment
DRUGS POEM
Published
1st Jun 2023 3:38am
1st Jun 2023 3:38am
7 days in
My heart keeps going back and forth between sadness, grief and today I feel anger
I feel anger at you and you
At myself
At the universe
At alcohol
My mom, she means well but her tongue is sharp it always has been
The mixed signals I get from everyone around me
They support me yet judge me at the same time
It feels as if getting sober is the same as being an active alcoholic
They still look at me the same
I am patiently impatient
I have empathy which I wish I could give to others
To make them understand that...
I feel anger at you and you
At myself
At the universe
At alcohol
My mom, she means well but her tongue is sharp it always has been
The mixed signals I get from everyone around me
They support me yet judge me at the same time
It feels as if getting sober is the same as being an active alcoholic
They still look at me the same
I am patiently impatient
I have empathy which I wish I could give to others
To make them understand that...
#grief
#alcohol
#addiction #temptation
#addiction #temptation
305 reads
0 Comments
DRUGS POEM
Published
7th May 2023 9:05am
7th May 2023 9:05am
Perception of addiction
Hey I don’t know if I’m going to jail on Monday
I don’t know if they’re going to drug test me on Monday
But I do know if they do I’m going to cry
I’ll probably be dry
Dry heaving while I’m crying trying to pee in a cup
While a stranger watches this great show my anxiety will create
I’m terrified the judge is going to look at me
And say in the most polite and professional way
Go fuck yourself
And I will do as he:she says
In cuffs
Hands and ankles and I will go back to the striped...
I don’t know if they’re going to drug test me on Monday
But I do know if they do I’m going to cry
I’ll probably be dry
Dry heaving while I’m crying trying to pee in a cup
While a stranger watches this great show my anxiety will create
I’m terrified the judge is going to look at me
And say in the most polite and professional way
Go fuck yourself
And I will do as he:she says
In cuffs
Hands and ankles and I will go back to the striped...
#addiction
#prison
#support
391 reads
2 Comments
LOVE POEM
Published
27th Jul 2021 10:45am
27th Jul 2021 10:45am
Two way street
Are you happy to be with me or are you afraid of being alone?
Too selfish to spend so much time with yourself so you take mine with no consideration
I feel so confused most days because you make me euphoric
Again most days
But there are so many days lately that I can’t decide if you’re glad I’m here because I’m me or you’re glad I’m here because it’s someone to come home too
Not just an empty space
Most days I wish you were home
Most days I’m grateful to be apart
I can’t help be torn between the two
You...
Too selfish to spend so much time with yourself so you take mine with no consideration
I feel so confused most days because you make me euphoric
Again most days
But there are so many days lately that I can’t decide if you’re glad I’m here because I’m me or you’re glad I’m here because it’s someone to come home too
Not just an empty space
Most days I wish you were home
Most days I’m grateful to be apart
I can’t help be torn between the two
You...
#wife
#husband
#forgiveness
#romantic
#honesty
495 reads
3 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
23rd May 2020 6:27am
23rd May 2020 6:27am
Origami
I’m looking for love in origami paper hearts
Checking all the folds only to find out later I ripped them,
I can’t explain how hard it is for me to be gentle, I’ll speak about it until my lungs are empty
My hands were made to break things, my fingers shake
They grip things to hard, so hard most things rip
I hoped for anything but this
I hoped for living in the moment
And loving the things we could control
And then my brain rewired, wrote everything again in a different language and I couldn’t understand it
So I...
Checking all the folds only to find out later I ripped them,
I can’t explain how hard it is for me to be gentle, I’ll speak about it until my lungs are empty
My hands were made to break things, my fingers shake
They grip things to hard, so hard most things rip
I hoped for anything but this
I hoped for living in the moment
And loving the things we could control
And then my brain rewired, wrote everything again in a different language and I couldn’t understand it
So I...
#anxiety
#dark
#denial
#apathy
#bittersweet
593 reads
1 Comment
SELF POEM
Published
23rd May 2020 5:52am
23rd May 2020 5:52am
Mentally ill?
You ever hold your own hand for intimacy?
Run your own fingers up and down the veins in your forearm
The last 7 months have been the loneliest I’ve ever felt
Ive tried so hard to give myself the love I know someone else would give me
How am I to accept it when
I resent it
If it’s from me
I want someone to love me
But loathe myself
I’ve never wanted someone to love me so bad and at the the same time want no one to ever look at me as a partner
I’m toxic to people, I’ve been saying it for years I’ve been telling myself but have never...
Run your own fingers up and down the veins in your forearm
The last 7 months have been the loneliest I’ve ever felt
Ive tried so hard to give myself the love I know someone else would give me
How am I to accept it when
I resent it
If it’s from me
I want someone to love me
But loathe myself
I’ve never wanted someone to love me so bad and at the the same time want no one to ever look at me as a partner
I’m toxic to people, I’ve been saying it for years I’ve been telling myself but have never...
#sadness
#anger
#rejection
#lies
#manipulation
345 reads
0 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
5th Dec 2019 4:42am
5th Dec 2019 4:42am
Rabbit hole
I’m sat here drinking and thinking
Which are two bad combinations
Because I can’t stop looking at my body and I can’t stop thinking of how small I used to be
The way my fingers wrapped around my waist like Christmas decorations and now they struggle to hold onto my hips without losing grip
I can’t stand to look at it
i continuously think of just going back to old habits
It would be so much easier than healthily losing the weight
It would be faster
It’s one of the best highs
I’m lying, I don’t want to invite you into this rabbit hole, I...
Which are two bad combinations
Because I can’t stop looking at my body and I can’t stop thinking of how small I used to be
The way my fingers wrapped around my waist like Christmas decorations and now they struggle to hold onto my hips without losing grip
I can’t stand to look at it
i continuously think of just going back to old habits
It would be so much easier than healthily losing the weight
It would be faster
It’s one of the best highs
I’m lying, I don’t want to invite you into this rabbit hole, I...
#anger
#EatingDisorder
517 reads
0 Comments
LOVE POEM
Published
10th Sep 2019 7:23am
10th Sep 2019 7:23am
Priority #0
Everyone I tell my side of our story too
Tells me it’s emotional abuse
And
I could never look at it that way, I could never say you emotionally abused me
There were times when i was younger that I thought I would never allow myself to be put in the position.
I’m to smart to be put there, I’m to grounded
I’m too high spirited, I’ve brought myself from the ground up no one can take this away from me I’ve earned this title
Ive been through to much to say I’m broken and continue to let people break me
I am to strong to admit to being crushed...
Tells me it’s emotional abuse
And
I could never look at it that way, I could never say you emotionally abused me
There were times when i was younger that I thought I would never allow myself to be put in the position.
I’m to smart to be put there, I’m to grounded
I’m too high spirited, I’ve brought myself from the ground up no one can take this away from me I’ve earned this title
Ive been through to much to say I’m broken and continue to let people break me
I am to strong to admit to being crushed...
#sadness
406 reads
0 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
2nd Sep 2019 2:15am
2nd Sep 2019 2:15am
Accepting the minimum
Maybe I accepted the breadcrumbs
Maybe I knew there was poison and maybe I took them because I wanted anything to fill me and maybe it was good enough
maybe, maybe I convinced myself that it was,
mainly because so badly I needed it to be I didn’t just want it to be
but I really really needed it to be enough
I can’t blame you for that
I can’t really blame anyone but myself
maybe I’m what’s toxic
what if
You know what if I was the one that poisoned myself and I’m blaming you
am I...
Maybe I knew there was poison and maybe I took them because I wanted anything to fill me and maybe it was good enough
maybe, maybe I convinced myself that it was,
mainly because so badly I needed it to be I didn’t just want it to be
but I really really needed it to be enough
I can’t blame you for that
I can’t really blame anyone but myself
maybe I’m what’s toxic
what if
You know what if I was the one that poisoned myself and I’m blaming you
am I...
#honesty
#acceptance
#tolerance
463 reads
0 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
12th Mar 2019 2:55am
12th Mar 2019 2:55am
A year from now
Because I'm not happy
Because the sun doesnt shine the way it did a year ago
let's be honest thank fuck for that
That the air doesn't smell the same
that might be because the world is dying.
And maybe were all dying right now
We just dont notice
Maybe they dont want too
But I feel it
I feel it so fuxking deep in my soul that it aches
My bones ache
Like they did a year ago
My heart breaks and shatters in a whole new way
The vodka tastes the same
Whiskey still burns my throat
maybe this is better for...
Because the sun doesnt shine the way it did a year ago
let's be honest thank fuck for that
That the air doesn't smell the same
that might be because the world is dying.
And maybe were all dying right now
We just dont notice
Maybe they dont want too
But I feel it
I feel it so fuxking deep in my soul that it aches
My bones ache
Like they did a year ago
My heart breaks and shatters in a whole new way
The vodka tastes the same
Whiskey still burns my throat
maybe this is better for...
#fate
#nostalgia
512 reads
1 Comment
DU Poetry : Submissions by Anxiety
