Bad Sex

( a Quatern )
 
I’ve never had bad sex, unless I count
When drinking’s used to pull something funny.
The times when a lover was down and out,
Made sense, no trip to buy booze, no money.
 
But that makes no sense to bed with a bum.
I’ve never had bad sex, unless I count
An exB/F’s chum who reeked of cheap rum,  
Took all of my change, said I’d do without.
 
Fellatio was like bones of a trout
From lovers who had no head for hygiene.
I’ve never had bad sex, unless I count
The mimics who smelled like “O de Latrine”
 
& men wearing diapers oh God knows when,
The faith shown to me was almost devout.
I’m out of fingers & toes, two times ten,
I’ve never had bad sex, unless I count.