Marooned

 
Been alone for eons now, asking myself how,
of course I know how,
the culprit is anxiety, and excessive dubiety.
I'm the over thinker, self confidence shrinker,
excessive smoker, the lonely toker,
The loner, the stoner, owner of a droning mind.
Hopefully you can help me unwind.

A gem you are, a pure soul one of a kind.
Lucky it was you I was able to find.
Always been there,
the only one who did care to share love through these years.
On and off,
it was you I lost though our paths always crossed persistently.
Consistently you insisted you cared and I resisted your invitation to engage in a relational association.

I can see you always truly did care for me even when I wasn't always there to share the care I felt for you.
You always stayed true
always stayed real,
A connection I could feel, something visceral.
Though we drifted apart, we still have time to restart.
A chance to form what always could've been,
Won't make the same mistakes again.

I feel like I'm changing,
feelings rearranging
it's strange and
something in which I wasn't expecting.
My mind inspecting this connection
A detection of affection
a feeling to reflect on.

Feeling marooned under the winter moon.
Looking for a change soon to get me out of this empty cocoon
feelin like a loon
drowning in this thought monsoon.
Nothing to lose
everything to gain.
Only I can choose to release the strain on my brain.
I shouldn't complain or feel disdain
Just cause I feel their pain, I gotta stay sane.
An earthbound stranger in danger of fallin victim to anger.

Maybe you can distract me from myself,
Get me out of my head,
before I end up dead from this existential dread.

Living a lie
about to break down and cry
feelin trapped just wanna
breakout and fly away.
Lonely is what I don't wanna stay
so please take me away.
Hold me tight through the night
help me get through this internal fight.
Not sure if I can do it on my own
so long I've been all alone
the only way I've ever known.
Though I know I've grown over the years
through the fear and the tears,
I was never able to find a mate and
you stayed present persistently.
Maybe it was fate,
Hope its not to late to reevaluate.