CONTEMPT

 
 
Comely apparition, emerged  
Like a cold Sunday morning  
Announced by innocent chirps
Riding the breeze of garden-fresh -  
The coming of a dream
Not short of anything, as paradise
There you were - pure elegance.
 
That smile, expressive of confidence
Untainted innocence,  
Without a trace of despair;
All heavenly bliss gathered  
In a single face, intensely hypnotic!  
With all pledges of serenity,
You were irresistible…  
 
Lured me into your fortress
But never made equal;
Puppet to your manipulative charm -
Slowly degraded, tarnished and corrupted.
Disillusioned with love,
Inflicted with indifference,
Subject to your own selfish definitions;
I was at your command.
 
And never slowly, rather abrupt;
Everything changed...
I am haunted by a horrible nightmare
Like an endless night of eerie shrieks
In a dreadful wilderness of reeking rotten flesh.
 
But faith didn’t give in too soon -  
Shared breath to dying hope
And with all courage found,
I tried to save your fortress.
Made amends over and over;  
Slowly wasting myself again and again
For the very same unfortunate mishap
You twisted to tie me down.
 
You wanted me to pay with my hands.
I offered my whole being…  
 
Yet all efforts to impress  
Unappreciated, ignored.
A miserable slave of naivety,  
Ignoring your disrespect,
Words of utter condescension
Echoing malignant hypocrisy.
For you don’t even try…
Not that you don’t comprehend.
 
You didn’t stop at ignoring
All toiling pains and sacrifices
Of this willing victim of your vanity;
Your wicked unyielding pride!
Scourged with endless emotional upheaval
From pointless psy-wars that leads to nothing
But your teeming insecurities.
And oh! But a single mistake
Compromised your true colors -  
You exploited my weaknesses
To mask your own malicious desires.
 
I should have known
How treacherous beauty can be.
 
Now here I am…
Consumed by an unfortunate choice
Made with a moronic belief that love exists;
Always at the edge of scornful attempt  
Of ending it all with either me or you, but no!
Not until it dawns on you.
I shall allow nature take its course -  
Make you watch with infinite regret
The decay of this poor casualty of your conceit.
Empty and harshly distorted;  
Already lacking all sense of justice,
Even too weak to lift a finger  
To point at vengeance
But wishing strongly that you remained a dream.