Change

 
I often find myself drowning in my memories.
Clinging desperately to the happy days,
The smiling moments,
The ones I can't ever replace.

But then there are those memories,
The ones I shun from my mind,
Those of which that I repressed so heavily,
It's as if my memories are just gone from that time.

I'm so focused on the memories and the past,
That I've completely neglected how much I've grown.
The person I've become and will grow to keep becoming,
That person,
She is not someone I would've recognized as myself a year ago.


I'm so tired of the idea that all change is bad and strange.
Everything changes at some point.
Your hair grows,
Leaves fall,
The earth spins.
Change is not bad.
Change is part of life,
Of everything.

I, for one, am so proud of my change,
Of my growth.
The person I was a few months ago was great,
She was a stage in my life and I'll never forget her,
I don't want to forget her.

However,
I'm better now,
Happier,
In love,
Calmer,
Way more appreciative of everything and everyone surrounding me.

Don't get me wrong,
Change can hurt,
It can hurt you like damn near nothing else could ever try to.
I've been through bad change.
I've been hurt by it,
Badly.
But I bounced back,
Another change,
A new one,
A good one.

I'm not saying change isn't bad,
Nor am I saying its the best,
But it is necessary.

If we let change in,
Yes it can be scary,
It can be terrifying.
But trust me,
Most changes.
They're just worth the pain.